I don't really have any particular point for this blog. My mind is just racing and I need an outlet.

These are usually the posts that make my Pops think I am a raving lunatic! LOL. Well, those and the rants where I don't identify a specific event or person... those really get him.

Anyway, I am watching Top Chef and watching the clock for time to get ready for the doctors appointment. I am so excited today, about everything and nothing, life in general. My heart is incredibly full today, it almost lends itself to a tightness in my chest (my minds view of a swelling heart). Its a great feeling. I don't really know its origin, and it really doesn't need one. I am just enjoying it.

I have been incredibly proud and sentimental when it comes to my family most recently (last couple of weeks). I miss them terribly, but not in a heart broken kind of way. I love them all so much, bringing up that full hearted feeling. I am incredibly proud of each and every one of them. They are all very different, especially when you start to compare mine and Tancy's families (and subsequently Mom & Dad's families or Nana & Poppy's families) and all associated families that were once individual, but now connected. Each of them are truly wonderful people who have brought their own blessings to my life. They are all soo different. But fundamentally they are the same; They love us, both of us, whether we originally belonged to them or not. They will provide for us if there is ever a need. They will share in our happiness and sadness. They would be there/here at a moments notice. They would protect and defend us without question. But don't misunderstand, they will surely tell us about ourselves if need be, lord knows LOL.... but that doesn't mean someone else would be allowed to talk bad about us in their company. I just love our family dynamic. And even though they haven't met yet, I am very hopeful that our family bonds will continue to strengthen once they do.

Love can conquer even the greatest divides.

Today is my first obstetrician appointment. I am excited about this. No real explaination for it. Just how I feel.

I am certain that something truly wonderful is coming. And currently I am just enjoying that feeling. I would much rather feel this way than the way I felt a week ago.

Do you ever wonder how well we all know each other? I mean, family, friends, neighbors even. How often do you think you know someone, and then like a bolt of lightening, it hits you that they are nothing like what you thought? Was that a pleasant epiphany, or a crushing one? I am very interested in this...

I learn something new about people everyday. Both good and bad. I recently learned that my father has loved North Carolina since before I ever talked about moving here. Which was a great shock considering I always thought he felt like North Carolina was too far. I honestly never even knew he liked the state! How does that happen? I didn't know my Mom's favorite colors were white and grey (which by the way Mom, Tancy argues that those aren't actually colors. LOL). She's been my mother for 30 years... and we have been close all my life, how did I not know that? I promise you the things I don't know aren't because I don't ask questions. It isn't because I don't desire to know as much as I possibly can about people. So how do you know people for 30 years and not know some basic things? I know there's a ton about my sister I don't know... and yet I don't know how that could be possible.

Perhaps it is simply because we are so individual that we couldn't possibly know everything, especially the fine details of a persons likes and dislikes. And if they aren't vocal, you might even miss the big things. My hope, for myself, and all of my relationships, is that I don't miss the truly important things.

And I wonder what people know (or don't know) about me.

Well, it is nearly time to get in the shower and start that ritual that all women go through before going to "The Doctor". What fun.... I prep more for that than I have some dates! And there's not even dinner involved! LOL.

I hope that you can feel that wonderful, fuzzy, full feeling that I am currently feeling. Maybe it is because I sent so much energy out to all of you... it's comig back. Could that be? I beleive it is possible. So, I am going to take all that I feel, all that full heartedness, positivity and love and send it right back out to all of you! Have a truly wonderful day.

Love to all!

Hello all. Good morning. I hope this finds everyone healthy, wealthy & wise. The weekend is creeping up on us as we speak. As I watch the sun slowly blush the sky with gorgeous colors of gold, orange, pink, red and even a deep purple, another day has begins.

Yesterday was kind of a rough day for me. Physically I really felt awful. Hiatal hernia again... fun. It's my own fault really. I was trying to take the medicine more on an as needed basis instead of preemptively. By the time I needed it, it took way to long to get relief. I wont do that again! I'll go back to my previous schedule, one around 10:00 and another around bedtime. That seemed to be working out just fine. I don't know why I had to mess with it. Well... that isn't true. I don't like taking medicine, so I was trying to cut down dosing. Silly girl. I know better!

So, dinner was good. I cooked the meatloaf just a bit too long. I didn't think about having bought 90/10, so it was dryer than I would have liked. The zucchini was delicious! We ate all of it. I could have eaten more if we'd had more!!

We sat and chatted a while. By 6:00 I was so miserable (yes I had already taken my medicine) that I just had to go lay down. That usually helps me start to feel better. Apparently it was just so inflamed that laying down really didn't do much for me. Around 8:30 or so I finally started getting some relief. I was so thankful for that, I was beginning to feel a whine coming on!

Aside from feeling physically shitty yesterday I was in great spirits. That is always great! That also makes the physical discomfort easier to tolerate. I talked to Mom & Dad both yesterday on the phone. They will leave out today for Maggie Valley. They will be here Monday or Tuesday (Mom and I can't remember which one it is... though I think it is Tuesday). I cannot wait! I have been missing family something terrible lately. It will be great to have everyone here. I am so very excited.

Today I need to make a list of questions I have for the doctor. I need to list medications and doses for her as well. She will have to make a decision on the medicine I am taking for my hernia. My primary care only gave me enough to get in to see my Ob. I am hoping that they do an ultrasound & we get a good picture. We have a christmas ornament that you put your ultrasound picture in and hang it on the tree. It says "Best Christmas Present Ever!". It's incredibly cute. I don't think I have much else going on today. I need to get the blue jeans in the dryer. Why is it that laundry is never ending?!

Oh! Before I forget. The friends of ours here who are expecting their second baby about 8 weeks before we are expecting our first, found out they are having a BOY!! Congratulations ladies. We are extremely excited for you both. We love you!

So I created a "Plug" here on xanga. I noticed quite a few hits on the site since its approval. This morning alone I've had 193! Which, to me, at 6:00 AM is impressive. I have also had a few additional subscribers and friends requests. I just want to say thank you to all of those who are interested in what I have to say & have subscribed to the page. I have really been enjoying the xanga community lately and appreciate everyone checking out what I have to say.

Well, I think I'll wrap this up for now. I may or may not post again after the doctors appointment. If I don't do it today, you know I will tomorrow!

May you all have a wonderful day full of pleasant surprises and smiling faces. I hope someone holds the door open for you... and you return the favor. I am sending every ounce of positive energy I have out there to all of you. Lord knows we need as much positive energy floating around out there as we can get! I hope, when you get in your car or turn on your mp3 player, your favorite song is playing! It's almost Friday!!!!!

Love to all!

Hello all. It's 4:00. Tancy should be leaving work in about 30 minutes and I already have dinner in the oven. Yay.

I downloaded some tunes today and organized my iPod. Then I showered and got dressed. I left here and went by the lawyers office to sign the paperwork so we can petition the court for the name change... which also means I had to give her some money. Whew. So expensive... and we got it $100 cheaper than she normally charges because we not only use her for everything, but quite frequently! From there I went right next door to the dentists office to get the paper work Tancy will have to fill out, so she can do that tonight & be ready for her appointment when she gets there.

I wasn't feeling too well, but I've got shit to do... so I push through and make it happen. Next stop - Wal-Mart for some groceries... not much b/c I just plopped down a nice little chunk of change at the lawyers office. I had hoped to get Tancy a birthday present while I was out... but that didn't work out. Oh well. So, I got what I needed and then I headed for home.

I got home and unloaded everything. Once everything was put away I started dinner. Meatloaf and baked zucchini. Yummy. I can't wait! It's already in the oven.... I had planned for it to be ready when Tancy got home. But, she just called and is already on her way home, so that probably wont happen. Another 30 minutes or so after she gets here and it will be ready.

So Tancy's Dad is going to read a passage from the Bible for our ring exchange. This makes us both very happy, that he can & will be a part of that for us. I bet we both cry like babies. I'll go one farther and say that we wont be the only ones squallin'! Again, I love our family.

I talked to Mom and Dad both today. Dad is hurting this afternoon, but he's been at work all day - non stop. He was going to try to rest a bit and hopefully his shoulder will ease up. Mom was on her way to therapy. I just enjoy our conversations. We get a kick out of each other. She enjoyed pointing out that I plan like my father, every detail that must be discussed at length. She's probably right. Tancy likes to tell me sometimes I talk things to death. She's right too. (Honey, now you have it in writing... for public record. I love you.)

Alrighty-roo. I should wrap this up. I need to go check on dinner and get off this contraption. I hope you all have a great night tonight.

Love to all!

Burrr! It is 19 degrees here at the house this morning. Just opening the door is like being hit right in the face!

Good morning. I hope that everyone is doing well. How cold is it where you are? I know we aren't colder than some places, but we are nearing record lows for this early in the winter. Tancy even had to wear one of her winter coats today.

There isn't too much new to report. Yesterday I managed to just about finish the laundry. I also got the dishes done. I even managed a shower and then get dressed and blow dry my hair!!! For some reason, I feel more accomplished if I not only do house work, but still manage to get a bath and "get ready". When Tancy got home we went to Steve & Mandy's for dinner. Baked BBQ Chicken and fried potatoes. It was yummy. Mandy made apple crisp for dinner. Lauren wasn't home, so we didn't get to see her. But the four of us had a great visit and probably talked more than we have collectively in a while. I am always reminded by my family (Devall, Dean, Griggs or Fischer) of how much we are loved and supported.... and the importance of family. I don't have a hard time remembering this, but it is truly heart warming when they do or say something that brings that to the front of your mind. I love our family, very much.

Our birthdays are rapidly approaching! I need to finish up my shopping for Tancy. I got her one small thing, but that isn't much of anything to call a birthday present. I have been trying to resist the urge to spend a bunch of money, as we really can't afford much right now. But as I get closer, I start to feel bad about not having a gift for her yet. Then our ring exchange is just a few days later. Still gotta finish planning that out. Ugh.

Today I don't have much planned. I could probably go get some groceries and just might do that. I have a doctors appointment on Thursday though & was thinking about doing it then. Kill two birds with one stone so to speak.  I don't know, I also need to go by Kimberly's office and sign my paperwork. So I could do it after leaving there. Who knows how I will work that out.

I would like to finish my laundry. I still need to take our comforter to the laundro-mat to wash it. This weekend is going to be full and busy. Saturday is the Ohio State/Michigan gme. We are going to Tylors to watch the game. At some point this weekend we need to bathe both dogs and clean the couches (I get anal about cleaning the couches every few months... don't know why). Seems like there's something going on Sunday too, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what. I know I wrote it on the calendar if there's something.

Oh! And I still have to figure out what to wear on Thursday. Ugh. That's my least favorite part... clothes. I think that's all I got for now..... my thoughts are completely scattered this morning.

Have a great day! The week is almost over and that puts Thanksgiving right on top of us!!!

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds everyone doing well this morning.

We are certainly better, having gotten up on time this morning. What a difference that makes!

Yesterday I didn't manage to do to much. I was exhausted from our running around on Sunday, so I played around on the computer and just vegged most of the day. I did manage to balance the check book, how depressing, and I also had dinner ready very shortly after Tancy got home.

We even managed to stay awake till 9:00. Tancy watched TV for a little bit after that, but my tummy wasn't being nice to me, so I was ready for sleep. She did end up turning the TV off before too long because it was keeping me awake.

This morning I am feeling pretty good. Tired, but good. So we are 10 weeks along now and I have to say that I am feeling much better than I had been. My hernia is still an issue, but not as bad as it had been... the medicine really seems to be helping out alot. I haven't been feeling as sick without the constant pain from the hernia. I have still been tired, but that isn't as bad now that I am not fighting the pain and nausea all day. I have had some emotional moments which I don't really like, but there's also nothing to be done about them.... so I deal. I had one really bad day, down and heavy feeling, last week. Outside of that, its been silly things that make me cry, like the video by Jamie Johnson "In Color". I cried like a baby, sub-subs and all, made me think of Paw-Paw and miss him terribly suddeny. Then Sunday morning before going to the Southern Christmas Show I cried about money, not having enough, spending it and feeling like I was managing it poorly. Tancy and I ended up laughing about me crying at the music video. The second round, however, neither of us were laughing. She just told me I was doing fine and everything was ok. She's been really great.

My boobs still hurt. I go through phases of sleeping in a bra and not sleeping in one. I just get tired of wearing a bra all the time. I am rapidly approaching the need for bigger bras. I have been putting that off, I don't like spending money on me, but soon I have to face it. I am still comfortably wearing my blue jeans... they were extra baggy before, so it isn't like it is a surprise that I can still wear them. They are still baggy though! I hate every pair of underwear I have. None of them seem comfortable. How can this be?! I have only lost weight, so it isn't that they are too small and they were comfortable before.... but now I seem very aware of where they rest on my tummy. So I guess I'll have to get some comfy "draws" eventually too. Ugh! We did buy a pair of maternity pants already, some time back, I am not wearing them yet.... but imagine that will change before I know it. I haven't gotten any maternity shirts, but figure I will be wearing them before I am even wearing the maternity pants given the rapid growth of my bust! Good thing I wear mostly T-shirts, but they only stretch so far!

I can't think of any other feelings or symptoms I might have. At this point I am incredibly thankful for the minimal amount of sickness I have had thus far. I am pretty happy with how I feel currently and am looking forward to that improving as the first trimester reaches its end. I am hopeful that the second trimester is pretty smooth... though I know the third trimester will hold different challenges than the first. If I had to voice one concern, it would be the hiatal hernia.

Oh! I have my first appointment with our Ob/Gyn on Thursday @ 3:30. There will be blood work, medical questions and possibly another ultrasound. Tancy probably wont be able to make the appointment, she's got a dental appointment that same afternoon at 1:45. I hope we get another ultrasound picture. Those things are addictive, especially so early, when you can't feel the baby yet. And hearing the heart beat.... that's something that words cannot describe.... very moving.

Today I really do need to get some laundry done. I also need to finish picking up the kitchen from last night. Maybe I'll even get a few other things done... who knows.... maybe I wont get anything done! LOL. Our roof is nearly done & the next step is the siding. After that is done the new gutters and down spouts go up and we are done. The roof looks so good already! I can't wait to see it all put back together. Our roof guy is really doing a great job. He takes a bit longer than most others, he works alone, but he cleans up each day (including blowing off the porch and driveway after he's picked everything else up). It's well worth the extra time.

I need to check on my Pops today, he had to go to the doctor yesterday for his shoulder. Turns out he has a pinched nerve. I am worried about him taking care of himself. He's so hard headed.... then he fusses at me for being hard headed! Go figure!! I just got off the phone with him, he sounds so much better than yesterday. Says he feels better and I am so glad to hear that. I just hope he takes care of himself and goes easy with things so that he will continue to feel better. It sucks, but it is necessary.

It is always interesting to me how people respond to pain, to our bodies not working the way we want them to. Some of us ignore it, keep pushing ahead until we can't any more (Pops, Tancy and even myself sometimes)... which usually does more harm than good. Some of us just lay down and give up, whine, complain and make ourselves completely useless and others miserable around us. Others are very pro-active, calling the doctor, scheduling tests, following doctors orders to the letter, even before the problem is severe... very pro-active. And depending on what is wrong, one person can respond in all of these ways. For me, I can either ignore it.... or become useless and miserable, depending on what is wrong and how serious it is. Seems that the more serious it is, for me, the better I am at pushing forward. Funny how we work as human beings!

Alright kids, I need to check in with my Mom now and then get some laundry done.

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds you all doing very well this morning. No doubt not ready for the weekend to be over yet.

We got up late this morning, so that always kicks things off in a real fun way!

Friday we had our ultrasound. That was exciting! Our little bean was moving around, arms stretching and bending, it was so cool to see. Of course that isn't the picture we got. The picture we ended up with just looks like an unidentifiable blob of grey. Oh well, whatcha gonna do. We were very happy. Heart rate of 180. Doc said that everything is exactly where it should be for where we are at. The size of the baby is good and all the other things they check out are right where they are suppose to be. Dr. Teaff has released us to Dr. Gaines. I will call today to schedule our first appointment with her. Dr. Teaff also wants us to have the testing done for genetic defects. Though we are not at high risk, she believes that information is key. We haven't decided where we are at with that yet. So, we will talk to Dr. Gaines and then make our decision.

We came home and I took a 2 hour nap. I was exhausted. I didn't sleep well the night before and the day seemed to have worn me out! At 4:30 Tancy woke me... I was CRABBY!! I, again, had to work hard not to be super mean to her. We got ready and headed out to meet the girls. We got there early, my preference, and had a quick snack before the show. We got a call that some of the girls had been in a wreck and Tancy and I headed out to go get Sonia and Sandy. Sonia obviously wanted to be there for Heather as soon as she could. They called us back when we were about half way there and said not to come that the traffic was getting backed up and they should be leaving the accident site soon. Everyone was doing well, so we turned around and went back.

I was inside for most of the Volatile Baby set. It was hot and crowded, and people in bars are just too rude for me. So, I excused myself and worked my way outside for some fresh air and open space. I could still hear the music and some of the girls, including Sandy, were already outside for the same reasons. So we just had our little party on the street! We had a great time. Tancy and Heather and Sandy cut up like they always do. I enjoyed everyones company, but was kinda quiet during parts of the night. I just get that way sometimes, no rhyme or reason.

We left around 10:00 or 10:30. My feet were hurting from standing for so long, so I knew Tancy's had to be killing her (we have gotten to the point in life where if there isn't a place for her, ahem, us, to sit down when we need to, we usually don't stay very long). We tried to see if everyone wanted to leave and go someplace else and get a snack and just be able to sit and visit. They were into the group playing at the time, they were good, so we said our goodnights and made our way home.

We got donughts on the way home. Mine were fresh and soft and delicious. Tancy's were not. I wish they had been. Then it came a downpour. We hadn't even gotten our donughts yet and the bottom fell out. I am telling you it was really intense. I was driving and scared to drive in the rain, especially heavy rain, at night. We were half way home before it started easing up. By the time we got home, it was a drizzle.

We got home & went to bed. Exhausted!

Saturday we slept in a bit and then got up and had coffee. Tancy got her bath while I finished my coffee and I got ready behind her. While I was getting ready she cleaned house.. yup, you read that right. She cleaned the kitchen, she swept the floors, took out the trash. She said she didn't want to ever have to say no to a showing again. I was feeling a little pukey, so I wasn't much help, by a little, I mean up in my throat. She was great though, I sure do love her!

Once it was all done, we sat on the couch and waited for Sandy. We were going to the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte. Sandy had to have some coffee first. We weren't in any hurry, so we sat around and chatted for at least an hour before we left! We love Sandy. So we finally got started for Charlotte. Got to the show around noon. It was already hoppin! There was just soo much to see, but we covered just about everything. Skipping on the booths we weren't interested in. Tancy and Sandy sampled wine, even got a little buzz I think! LOL. We had a great time and got 75% of our Christmas shopping done. I don't know yet what we spent, I know it was more than I had hoped to... but less than we might have if we hadn't gotten some gifts there. So, who can really complain?

We were there until they closed the doors. I was soo freakin' tired. My feet hurt, my back was hurting, my stomach was cramping. I know it was just being on my feet all day and being SO out of shape. We decided to hit Taco and Tequila for dinner on our way home. Good choice! Tancy and I split a Deluxe Shrimp Burrito. It was yummy and we were both stuffed, good thing we shared! Then it was home!! Tancy and Sandy worked on burning music and pictures to CD. I sat on the couch and just tried to relax my tense back muscles. I had hit that kind of tired that makes you feel so cold and almost sick. Sandy left at about 10:00, we'd had 12 hours with her, and we went directly to bed. I know we curled up together and that's the last I remember.

This morning I woke up at 4:30 to pee. Wow, it amazes me how much a full bladder can hurt. It isn't real pain, obviously, but its a discomfort that doesn't compare to anything else. I got back in bed and passed out. Dreading the sound of the alarm and all the noises of Tancy getting ready. I went soundly back to sleep. At 6:48 I heard "Shit! I'm late!!" I asked if she had time for coffee, she said she was already late, so sure. I got up and made the coffee. By the time she was in the kitchen it was just about ready for her. She left with a cloud of dust behind her right at 7:00. I felt bad for her, I usually ask her at night if she set her alarm, I know how that affects the first part of your day. And she doesn't like to be late, she's usually there about a half hour early in the mornings.

So today I don't really have any plans. I need to wash some clothes and other than that, I probably wont do much. I do hope that everyone is having a great Monday (if there is such a thing) and didn't wake to the same paniced feeling of being late.

Love to all!

Here's the little bean. Heart beat was 180. Everything looked normal for 9 weeks 4 days. This is actually kind of a side view of the little one. Not that you can tell. It isn't the best picture, as Tancy pointed out, that they could have taken... we actually got to see arms moving around, the facial profile (distinguishable) and even the umbilical cord. But, as I explained to Tancy, they aren't photographers... they are just providing you something tangible that proves you actually do have a baby in there.

Oh, Aunt Jan, I asked the question you wanted me to.... just for you.
The reason they do Trans-Vaginal-Ultrasounds (TVU) instead of doing Gooey-Belly-Ultrasounds (GBU) (The actual technical term) is because the TVU's are clearer with more detail. The uterus is still behind the pelvic bone at this point, so with a TVU they are right up against the uterus practically and you can see the heart beat and arms and profile. Later, sometime after the first trimester they will begin doing the GBU's because the uterus will be big enough to not be behind the pelvic bone and the picture will be clearer for a GBU.

Does that clear it up?? I get all mixed up with all the medical terms. LMAO!!

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds you all healthy and happy. No doubt ready for the start of the weekend. Tonight we are going to see Heathers art work and listen to some good music. I am excited about a night out with some of the girls.

Yesterday was a good day. Dr. Tomovich called in some medicine for my hernia. I got to talk to my cuz (whom I NEVER get to talk to) Larisa. It was a great conversation, if for no other reason because I got to hear her voice. She sounds good. I am very glad to hear that. I have no clue what is going on with her... one of the downsides to the blog... those who read it know all about what is going on in you life, but you don't know anything about thiers. It can give a false sense of connectivity. Anyway, it was a good conversation, she gave me some suggestions for the ring exchange (I am calling it this instead of a ceremony because it really isn't a ceremony). She had one great idea... I just don't know how to execute it. She said we should have someone in our families say something. I am not sure how to go about that. "Hey Mom, I need you to say some really nice things about me & Tancy." Nah, I don't think so. I thought about Mandy or Lauren because out of all of our family they have spent the most time with us since we have been together.... but again, I think that puts alot of pressure on someone. I also thought about Tylor, he did live with us after all... I just don't know how comfortable he would be with that. I dont think we will have any friends there, they all have family to have Thanksgiving dinner with... or maybe one of them would do it. I just have to figure that out. I think it is a great idea though!

I picked up my medicine around noon and really felt relief very quickly after taking a dose. I was so thankful for that. I made  little trip to pick something up for Tancy's birthday, just a little something. Money is tight right now, so I am being conservative... like we will have dinner at home tonight kinda conservative. Anyway, I had several doses of the medicine yesterday and it really did make a difference. I was so uncomfortable before, with that tight, burning feeling just beneath my chest. Now that is aleviated with the medicine. Thank you!

I made it back home from my errand and made dinner. Beef Stroganoff (sp?). It was pretty good. Something in it had a texture that I didn't like, so I only had a small helping. Mandy came by and ate, two helpings I think. Tancy had two the first round & then another with Mandy! LOL.

Mandy left sometime after 6:00 and I headed to the back for a bath. Tancy and I talked about "what if" the house doesn't sell in our listing period. My personal desire is to wait 6 months or so, since there will be so much going on and many changes.... too much to still be trying to keep the house in "show condition" at all times. Tancy's take is she's ready to have some land and wants to re-list right away. We agreed to disagree and to consider both sides... even to look for solutions to the issues re-listing brings up for me. Hopefully though, it wont come to having to make that decision.

Then it was to bed. Tancy was asleep around 7:30. I had to laugh. I watched TV and our good friend Gary called and we talked for nearly an hour, maybe it was an hour. I just love Gary. I think he's a great guy. We actually got to talk about him, seems the last conversations we had I did most of the talking (shocker I know!). Then we talked about our upcoming ring exchange. He was very helpful with ideas and I think I feel better about having direction for it now. He's even offered to help us get things situated. I am so appreciative of that. I know he has a great eye and he sees it as his gift to us. I could cry thinking about what a wonderful gift that is.... what a beautiful friend he is.

I managed to stay awake to watch the season premier (a day late) of "Top Chef" which I LOVE! It was pretty good. At 10:00, when it was over, I shut off the TV and readied myself for slumber... but it didn't come. I was awake till nearly 11:00. I have no idea why. My stomach was kinda topsy turvy and my legs were all over the place. I was hitting that "I am gonna cry if I don't go to sleep soon" point when I must have fallen asleep.

The alarm went off waaaay too early this morning. I dozed while Tancy got ready, but after hearing a couple of drawers and doors open and close I declared "Alright, I'm up!" To which she was like "Alright". Hey, I have told you that I really am a bitch in the mornings lately... I try, but there's really no stopping that run away train. I feel terrible too because I have no reason to be and I really don't want to be. So, over coffee I told her why I think I am that way some mornings (waking up before I am ready to due to loud noises) which I know she has no control over. Not saying it so that she can change anything. Just trying to give a litle insight as to why I am so hateful. LOL. Doesn't make it any easier for her I am sure.

Anyway, she rode in to work with Kenny today so that I can pick her up on our way to our ultrasound. It is at 11:30. We are both excited to see how the little one looks this time. Hopefully less like a little grey blob on the screen and shaped a little more like a teeny tiny baby... not a shrimp! So, I will be signing off directly so that I can get my bath, get ready & head out!

Maybe we will even get to come home and get a nap before we go to the art show!! That would be terrific!!!!

I hope you all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend. I probably wont post through the weekend. If I do, it will be a surprise. But I'll be sure to update everyone come Monday.

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds you all healthy, wealthy and wise. It is Thursday, which is actually Friday for some of you, and close to the weekend! Yay! It seems like it has been a long week.

Yesterday was a rough day. I started out feeling pretty freakin' fantastic. I even managed to take care of some household chores that needed to get done. I don't know if it was the early hour of my waking or what, but the tide quickly turned and my mood became really awful, I mean really awful. By early afternoon, I started feeling sick too. Great! I tried to blog, but just despised the words that were coming from my finger tips. Nothing positive, nothing productive, so I brought it to a close. I reached out where I knew to reach out and still my mood wasn't improved.

By 12:30 I decided that I felt so bad I probably should lay down. I haven't done this in quite a while. In the very beginning I think I took a few naps... but aside from the rare going back to bed after Tancy leaves, I pretty much am up at 5:30 and for the rest of the day. Anyway... I did go lay down on the bed, to try to get some relief from feeling so awful. I couldn't sleep, our roofer was BANG! BANG! BANGING! on the roof directly above me. But it felt good just to lay there, so I stayed. I really felt terrible. I started tracing my steps for the day, how did I get here, feeling so miserable when I started out so good. I had my half a boost (a whole one was too much and hurting my tummy) first thing. I had small snacks, healthy food, through out the day. I currently can't remember what specifically, but that really isn't so important. So then I start thinking about when it started hurting. I was sitting on the couch with my foul mood hanging in the air like a fog. I was on the computer, my knees were up and I was reclined in my seat. Ah ha! That's it!

Ok, so to back track just a bit. I have felt nauseous, don't get me wrong... but its been more than that. I have felt like I have been punched in the stomach in addition to that. I have felt pain and burning in the center of my stomach, just under my rib cage (The bread basket). I somehow felt like what I was feeling wasn't normal morning sickness. I don't know why I didn't put two and two together before now... but it has to be my hiatal hernia. That's the pain.... I've had it for years, I know what it feels like.... but somehow I didn't link it to this. I honestly thought "Come on Jodie, stop being such a baby about this, it isn't that bad and you aren't even throwing up." But the hernia pain has knocked me to my knees before I was pregnant, so it stands to reason it would be at least as uncomfortable now, again, it makes sense now.

I don't know why it seems so aggravated and inflamed, but boy is it! That is what is so miserable, not the nausea, as I have said before, that is actually pretty minimal... its been the pain, the burning (not like heartburn or indigestion, more like burning in your muscles). That's why, as soon as I lay down in just the right position (yes, it is the same every time) I get immediate relief! And the light bulb burns brightly.

So, now I am wondering how this is going to go for the next 6.5 months. I can only anticipate it will get worse with the baby growing larger and putting more pressure on the hernia itself. But why is it so intense now? All I can think is that it is from the slowed digestion... I wont go into detail here, I am sure you can all figure out what I am trying to say. The sitting in awkward positions apparently triggers it. Reinforcing the need to move around, yet again. Trouble is making myself when I hurt so much. Another thing is trying to get things "moving" better. I am already drinking lots of water and taking my fiber supplement. (I know, get moving Jodie.)

I think today I will call my Doctor and talk to her about it and if there's any concern with this or not. I doubt it, but I do want to make them aware of it and the discomfort that is already coming with it. Now that I know what it is, I feel better equipped to deal with it. Thank God. Honestly, I usually do pretty well with doing what needs to be done, even when I feel rotten. I try not to complain... I said try! LOL.

So, I got up after laying there for about 30 minutes and felt SO much better. I made the bacon wrapped green bean and marinated the steaks for dinner. I chose my seated position more carefully, sitting upright instead of slouching. Again, much better. So, if I can continue to be aware of this and head it off before it gets bad... and lay down for just 30 minutes when it does.... I should feel much better on a regular basis.

At night the morning sickness has been kicking in pretty good. Ice pack around the neck kind of yuck. Which was probably another thing that made me feel like the pain had to be something else. Its been the last three nights and thankfully no hurling so far! I just feel so much better now that it seems I have a better understanding of why my body is doing what it was/is.

Any input? Anyone know anything about hiatal hernias and pregnancy? I'm wide open here people.

Today my mood is good. Yay. Hoping it stays that way ALL day today.

So, I hope that you all have a fabulous day today. If your weekend starts today, congratulations, enjoy it. If not, you are just a day away from the weekend... hold on to it! Sending much love and positive energy out to everyone. I feel very fortunate and appreciative today for friends and family and looking forward to all the good things coming.

Love to all!

Good morning, again. Hope this finds you well. No doubt everyone is at work by now. Happy its Wednesday, looking forward to Friday!

It is 9:14 and I have managed to check off all the items on my "To Do" list. I am so pleased with myself. I am feeling pretty good so far today. I had most everything done before it was even daylight. Whatcha think about that?!

I need to make a quick run to the store for some tooth picks in just a bit. I am going to make bacon wrapped green beans. I have been wanting them for days and just didn't feel like doing the work it takes to make them. They are so yummy. I might also put those steaks on to marinate finally. I don't need much from the store, but I do need to make the trip worth it. It seems silly to me to burn the gas for just a fifty cent pack of tooth picks. But I also don't want to buy just for the sake of buying. Anyway, I'll work that out before I go.

I have been working on my Christmas list... trying to get an idea what I want to get for each person listed... and putting a limit on our spending. We tend to get a little out of control with what we spend come Christmas time. And this year, we really need to be diligent about sticking with a budget. Baby coming and all, makes keeping it under control more important. So far I don't have many items by many names..... ugh.

I feel a bit "prickly" today. It's kind of a combination between tender and hurtful. I get my feelings hurt easily and have a hard time verbalizing it without being mean. Thankfully this feeling hasn't come around in a while... and I am home by myself to work it out today. I really dislike feeling this way. I do my best to keep my trap shut so I don't feel like an asshole when it passes and I realize I said something hurtful. That's one of my biggest fears, hurting others unintentionally. I am just devastated when I later realize that I have hurt someone. So, maybe with getting the house work done today & cooking a little, I can work out all that negativity I have bottled up. I wish I knew where that comes from. Right now it is easy to say its probably pregnancy hormones.... but lets face it, I have been here before. Not sure. Maybe one day I will figure it out.

Monday was Jenn's birthday. Today is Sonia's birthday. Friday is Lauren's birthday. There are many more in November, but those are the three this week. We didn't get to celebrate with Jenn or Sonia this weekend (we didn't go to the beach & we didn't see Jenn all weekend either), hopefully we will catch up with both of them soon. Saturday we are going over to Mandy's for Lauren's birthday celebration & greasy tacos.... my tummy hurts already! LOL.

Our birthdays are just shy of two weeks away. I haven't gotten anything for Tancy yet. That is very uncharacteristic of me. I should probably get on that! LOL. Trouble is, I don't know what to get her! Another problem I don't usually have. I am sure I will figure it out.... but I wish I had it done already. I already feel like I am down to the wire.

I finally got to talk to Aunt Jan online this morning. Not for very long though. I have to say I was a bit sad to have to cut our conversation short. I almost never catch her online, I can't remember the last time we were able to IM. Just missing her and our conversations I guess. We were not exactly connected for quite a while. In the last year or so we have found our way back into each others lives and I have so enjoyed it. We seem to have picked right up and never checked up. Still there are times when I seem to need her more, to talk to her, to just connect again for a moment. I don't know, I am rambling. Just missing her a bit today.

I can see, if I continue this blog, it is just going to turn into one big emotional mess. Trust me, you don't want that. So, I reckon I will bring it to a close and find something to occupy myself with.

I hope you all have a great day today. It is HUMP day! I know how some of you look so forward to HUMP day! Happy birthday to all my girls and boys this month! We love you.

Later taters. Love to all!