Hello all! How the hell are ya?

I am doing well. It is 6:25. Tancy's been gone for work for about an hour now. I talked to Mom and Dad for a bit on the phone when she left. It was good to just chat with them, I think I even talked to Dad more than Mom. We are all looking forward to us being in Louisiana this weekend. We talked about the property we went and looked at today (more on that later) and previous properties. We talked about dinner and just chatted. Like I said, it was nice.

I just finished a bowl of cereal a.k.a. dinner. It was good. I am not sure it was filling enough, but it was good. I decided that I would blog a bit and then fix myself a warm bubble bath for a nice relaxing soak. And here I am!

So after Mandy and Lauren dropped me back by the house and headed off for their day I tried to be quiet and let Tancy sleep as long as possible. I think I even blogged a bit, didn't I? The house was quiet and I could have taken a nap myself. I got Tancy up in plenty of time and we caught up on her night and my day. I love catching up with her. Then we headed out to look at a farm for sale in Vale.

The land is beautiful and we liked it alot. It has several "out buildings", all but maybe one or two of which need to be pulled down. The house has been added on to once if not twice. It has potential. Bu that potential requires taking down walls (which we are capable of and not intimidated by, but also not sure we want that big of a project) and a complete remodel of the kitchen. So, we are up in the air. But, this brought us both to thinking about a farm we had looked at months ago. The owners had their agent call our agent and ask what it would take to get us in that house some months back. So, we were considering what the answer to that question might be. We both arrived at the fact that there's nothing we can do until after we get back from Louisiana (no time with Tancy on shift, especially on night shift). So, we'll let the dust settle and see how we feel when we come back home. If we are still thinking in the same line, we'll make arrangements to see the other farm house again.

We head home. Tancy has a sandwich for her breakfast and packs her lunch for work. Then we just lounge on the couch together, soaking up every minute. Neither of us mind the shift work, it just takes some adjusting, we are getting there. I do wish she could be home to curl up in bed with me. But we both know that wont happen tonight, so we talk and laugh and snuggle as much as we can within that hour before she leaves.

The rest you already know. I talked to Mom and Dad after she left. I had a bowl of cereal for dinner and am planning a nice hot soak in the tub in just a bit.

The dogs are both layed up on the couch beside me. They are sacked out. They have been since they ate dinner. It hasn't been a strenuous day for them or anything... this is pretty much how they are when it's just us here. Why they can't be this way when we have company or house guests, I have no idea.

Tomorrow I need to get some dishes and laundry done. I also need to clean out my car. We don't have anything going on tomorrow, so it should be easy for her to have plenty of time to sleep.... whether she gets plenty of sleep is a different story. Hopefully she will, she woke up with a terrible head ache this afternoon. I hope her night tonight goes faster than last night... and is more productive with regard to getting her quals done. Last night was apparently a bust.

I don't really have any deep thoughts to ponder or thought provoking feelings to share. I am fairly simple tonight. Looking forward to being in Louisiana, very excited to finally get our ultrasound and find out if we have a Noah or a Lillie and everything else is gravy baby! I don't have any thoughts past next Tuesday. Tancy will have two days off after that, so I hope we just enjoy the time together before she heads back to night shift. And dats all.

I believe the date for the baby shower here in North Carolina is going to be May 30th. It is the only weekend Ms. Sue has off of work. So, that's plenty of time to make plans should you want to and be able to make it.

I don't have much else to report. I hope that everyone is having a pleasant and relaxing night with those they love.

Love to all!

Your pregnancy: 19 weeks

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

Not much new to report on the pregnancy front. I've been feeling pretty good, just still wishing that we had been able to have the ultrasound yesterday. Still a bit bummed about that, but I am reminding myself that we just have a few more days till we are in Louisiana, then we are back home and the next day we have our ultrasound. I can manage that. I appreciate all the text messages from ya'll yesterday encouraging me and sending your love. I needed that support and love.

The little one is kicking away... its certainly more than flutters at this point. Yesterday we confirmed that I was indeed feeling the baby and not "gas bubbles", that was exciting. It's also a comfort and makes me feel more connected (which I need for the next week) to the baby. You know, I haven't been concerned with finding out what we are having... but I've gotten used to the idea of knowing and being able to say Noah or Lillie soon. I guess I am looking forward to that more than I expected. We told the doctor we say "he", she said almost everyone does, its actually proper english when you don't know. I just don't like saying "it".

Yesterday I wore a pair of maternity pants and a maternity T-shirt. I had Tancy take a picture and sent it to Mom and Dad. I think I look pregnant in there, even more than I think I should at this point. LOL. My face looks thinner though, haha!

Mandy and Lauren came over last night and had a slumber party with me. I needed the company yesterday evening, not down, just didn't want to be by myself. It was a good evening full of visiting and cutting up. Then this morning we got up and found Lauren's prom dress and then back home.

Right now I am waiting for about 2:00 to wake Tancy up and then go look at a house in Vale. Then of course we will head back home and she'll head out for work. I need to get a few things done around here tonight. I think some "me" time tonight will be good. I would say that yesterday was devastating, but that would be overly dramatic. It was tough though. I'm glad for the company, the phone calls and the text messages yesterday, it helped and today I am much better.

I hope that everyone is having a great day today.

Oh, to update ya'll on Aunt Jan. The doctor found alot more damage than he originally anticipated. He said there was no arthritis, just alot of damage. He's hoping that what he did yesterday will prevent her from having a complete knee replacement. Only time will tell. However, her recovery time is now 2 weeks instead of the original 1. I am sure she's bummed about that, but I also know she wants to feel better. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Love to all!

Hello all. It is currently 1:50 and we haven't been home from the doctor for long. I was up at 3:00 this morning and suddenly was struck by a terrible feeling that I wasn't pregnant any more. I talked myself out of being upset and scared and went back to bed. When I woke up at 8:00 that feeling was still there.

I got up, went about my normal routine with the dogs and the coffee and got on the line with Mom. It helped ease my mind some, but you know when you have that nagging, all be it irrational feeling, there isn't much to do about it  but ride it out.

At 9:00 I got in the shower and went about my preparation for the upcoming appointment. Not sure whether there would be an exam or what I covered all the bases just to be safe. Tancy got up and got a shower as well and before long we headed out. We made a stop at AT&T for memory cards for our phones so we can take video and more pictures (the phone doesn't have much memory on its own). Then we went to the doctors office.

We were an hour early. Oh well. I am my fathers child. We talked and waited, time seemed to go by fairly quickly. We got called back and the lady took us into an exam room of to the side. There was a sense of urgency, something wrong in her manner that made me uncomfortable. She first proceeded to chastise us for canceling the appointment with Dr. Smith (the perineonatologist - not sure on the spelling there). I explained to her why we had and that we had done so with permission from Ms. Grigg (our Midwife) and the knowledge of Dr. Gaines. I felt like a 5 year old who just pooped her pants in the corner. I felt embarrassed immediately, then defensive, then just pissed. Next she proceeded to tell us that we had scheduled our ultrasound appointment a week early, but that we needed to be in for a check up today anyway. Now I am really mad. I explain to her, as calmly as I can (and wondering who the hell is this woman and what right does she have to talk to me this way) that Dr. Gaines pushed us out this far so that we could have our check up and ultrasound all in one day. She says that women over a certain weight (very condescending tone at this point) make it difficult to see enough detail this early on because there is too much in the way (those might not be the exact words, but I promise you that describes the specific amount of judgement). That there's no way to do the ultrasound on me, because I am a fat ass (that's me being snide), today... we will have to wait a week.

We are brought back to the waiting area to see the doctor. We wait what seems like an eternity. This only adds to my level of pisstivity (yes, I made that word up). Then they take my blood pressure... go figure. 120/80, higher than normal, but thankful within a good range. They have time to run my urinalysis even! Dr. Lugay brings us into the room and asks how we are. I explain everything that just happened and how upset I am about it. I am incredibly proud of myself for not unleashing the beast that has grown in me in the last few months... I didn't even cry. I was very calm. I told her I felt talked down to, judged and chastised. I explained to her that it isn't the information that bothers me as much as the delivery. I can hear anything if it is put the right way. And they of all people should know how important delivery is with sensitive information to pregnant women.  She apologized, said that this woman is given lead way because she is the one to perform the ultrasound (great, I've got to deal with this bitch again... and be nice) and she's apparently fuckin'-phenomenal at what she does (pardon the language Mom & Dad, it's been a hard day). That makes it doubly hard because now I know the doctor is going to talk to her about her approach and my reaction and I have to trust that she is professional enough to do a good job for me after I told on her. Dr. Lugay tells me that it is important that I have a positive experience at their office and she will talk to this lady and I will not have that problem again... she defends her employee for the job that she does, but agrees that her delivery was out of line. The appointment with Dr. Smith isn't a big deal, don't even give it a second though. The ultrasound wont happen today because they do trust this lady to know what the hell she's talking about (and I suspect Dr. Lugay wants ample opportunity to give her time to adjust her attitude before I have to deal with her again). She also goes on to say that it was their own issue with communication (in house) that my ultrasound be scheduled at 19 weeks.... typically, it is scheduled at 20 weeks. Why mine was scheduled at week 19, she has no idea. Dr. Gaines isn't there any more, so its irrelevant now.

We talk about an issue that I have had intermittently. She feels like it is related to my IBS and nothing to be overly concerned about. If it doesn't go away, then we have a problem, if it begins to include lower abdominal cramping, bleeding or fever we need to call immediately. That eases my mind. Especially since I had an episode last night that scared me to death. If it had lasted any longer I would have gone to the ER. We also talk about how long past my due date they will let me go. More than anything, if it is safe, I want to be allowed to let my body do what it does. I don't want to be induced unless there's a concern, not just because I am due. She says they wont allow you to go past 41 weeks. They will induce within the second week if you haven't gone into labor by the end of the 41st week. That isn't the answer I wanted, but it will have to do. That's the way it is and there is a reason for it. I just wanted to option to say, I know I am late, but I feel good (assuming that I would be feeling good, LOL) and I'd like to let my body do its thing.

After we talk about everything she listens for the baby's heartbeat. 141. Perfect! And its moving around because she can't keep the heart beat tracked. I can feel it moving around. I don't know if it was the strong coffee from this morning, or the fact that I was pissed and that got the little bugger going... Either way it was cutting cart wheels in there. She asked if I felt it moving around, I told her I had been off and on since the Sunday after Christmas. She said that wasn't typical, but it is a good sign that the Dean bean is strong and doing well. (She has no way of knowing how sensitive to every little thing I am, physically, emotionally and any other way you can think of. Otherwise it probably wouldn't have been a surprise.)

We reschedule our ultrasound for next Tuesday and our next check up for 4 weeks. At 24 weeks they begin to treat Mom and baby. Presently they treat Mom. This has to do with viability. They have to treat (prior to 24 weeks ) with Moms health in mind first and foremost and baby secondary. At 24 weeks however, they are equally considered. Sounds a bit disconnected and harsh, but I can understand it on some level. We really liked Dr. Lugay and would be pleased if she were the doctor to deliver our little one. She said we were right on track and everything looked good. The urine sample was good, protein was a teeny bit high, but no where near a level that would concern them... that I shouldn't give it a second thought. I hadn't gained any weight (I was exactly the same) since my last appointment, which given that was Christmas holiday time was a great thing. She was pleased with everything and walked us to the front desk. Now, surely this gives you an indication of how she must have felt about the conversation we'd had with the ultrasound bitch. She was sure to ask if we were ok and felt better and also to tell me that if I ever had any problem like that to be sure to talk to the doctor (I will rotate to a different doctor for my next checkup) about anything that upsets me or makes me uncomfortable. I told her that I had no problem voicing any concerns and joked that she could ask Tancy just how good I was at communicating any issues I might have. We laughed, she patted Tancy on the shoulder and told her "Good luck with that." At the desk she gave us first class check out and we were on our way.

I have to say that I feel deflated. We've been excited for 5 weeks about this day and it was all swept out from under us in a very rude and calloused way. I was glad to hear the heart beat again, it feels like it has been way to long since I heard or saw the little bugger, so at least we had that. And it is only a week. But damn! Tancy is a bit disappointed as well, but we all know I wear mine on my sleeve. She accepts it and moves on. There's nothing wrong, everythings good, it sucks, but its not the end of the world. I agree, I just need a bit longer to shift gears.

Tancy is currently trying to take a nap. We had soup, bread and salad at Olive Garden after the appointment and then Tiramisu for desert. Yummy!! I think her belly is fully and she hopes that will help her sleep. I am not sure one way or the other, though I do hope she gets some sleep before going to work. I have no plans for tonight. Probably curl up with a book and chill out.

I hope you are all having a good day today. Sorry I don't have any exciting news for you today. You'll have to wait another week like the rest of us.

Love to all!

So I am sitting here, on the couch, watching Tancy and Sandy play Tennis on the Wii... like they were Venus and Serena Williams. They are hard core, playing against each other, smack talking and laughing like kids. It is so fun to watch. They are talking to the TV and fussing about calls. I swear, if I could trust them not to be inappropriate, I would be streaming live video on the world wide web for all to see. It is truly that entertaining.

I understand why they are having Wii nights at the senior citizens centers. My only concern is that tomorrow, neither of them will be able to stand up right! LMAO! Of course, neither of them are that old... it's just fun to talk like they are old invalids. I fully expect to be taking care of both of them one day! I do, however, hope that day is a long way away. I already plan on hiring a big german lady to help with sponge baths!!! Ah, life is good.

Oh, the worst case just crossed my mind, during swings, they crash into each other and break hips... I'd be taking care of them alot sooner than I had hoped!! Everyone should have a Wii!

We had a great day today. We went out to South Mountain and took the dogs on a walk. It was fairly leisurely... I didn't feel up to any outward bound shit today. But, it was good to be out in the fresh, clean mountain air. It was colder up there and there was ice on the water. The dogs had a great time and ate the ice and drank the ice cold water. Scout even wanted to go swimming!! Hemmi would have gladly followed (he doesn't like to be left out or behind) and become a pup-cicle very shortly after.

After our walk we rode around Vale some, looking for any "For Sale By Owner" signs. We've talked alot about all the possibilities and time frames, etc. Tancy just feels like she's not getting any younger and wants to have some land while she can still get out there and work the land if she wants to. I think this notion is silly, she's a long way from old and will probably never stop, even once she is old... but I am not 37 yet either. I can understand that is how she feels and will support whatever she wants, within reason of course.

We headed home before too long and stopped at the grocery store for a few items to make the artichoke, sun dried tomatoe and shrimp pasta I made a while back (Tancy's been asking me to make it for a while). We also ended up getting the stuff to make some jerky. It's in the fridge marinating now and we'll make it tomorrow.

Sandy called while we were working on dinner and the jerky and said she was coming out. We waited to eat dinner so we could all eat together. I think Tancy and Sandy both ate two helpings of the pasta. I was full from one. We sat and visited a while and then the Wii came out. They are about to move on to Boxing. This should certainly result in someone's injury... if not now, certainly they will feel it tomorrow. Again, this is good stuff, I hate that you are all missing it.

So it is only 8:14.... Tancy had a beer earlier. Then we ate. Then she and Sandy had a cup of coffee and now they are on the Wii. She's going to be exhausted by 9:00 at the latest if they keep this pace up. She'll be awake for as long as Sandy is here, but probably not long after that. I don't know if you have ever heard the phrase "Looks like two monkeys f*&$%#! a door knob" or not, but that's pretty much what my living room looks like with these two trying to box on the Wii.

Ah... to tell the stories of them playing Wii just doesn't do it justice. May you all experience watching others look ridiculous playing the Wii.

Have a great night. Tomorrow is full of big things. Please, everyone out there, keep Aunt Jan in your thoughts and prayers. She's having surgery to scrape the back of her knee cap tomorrow. She'll be in surgery for an hour and be down for a week recouperating. I hope it all goes well and she's feeling much better very soon.

Tomorrow we will know if we have a Lillie or a Noah. I'll post after Tancy leaves for work tomorrow evening. I will also try to send out text messages to everyone I have a cell phone number for.

Oh lord, they have moved on to Baseball! This should be good.... someone's back is going OUT!

Good night everyone.

Love to all!

Good morning all. It is Sunday morning and the day is pretty dreary so far.

Yesterday was a full day for us. We headed out fairly early (house show ready, just in case) to look at houses we had seen online that we might want to see in a showing should a "drive by" work out for us. Most were a bust. But, it was a good day, out and about and we really didn't spend any money.

Yesterday was also a full day with regard to navigating the emotional pitfalls and peaks of pregnancy. It has certainly been an adjustment for both of us... and though I do feel terrible for Tancy, it is equally hard on us. I, as always, feel the need to talk about how I feel, why I feel that way, how I got there, etc. Tancy, especially when she's hurt or mad, likes to lock it down. So, its felt like there's been a big empty space between us most recently. We worked it out, the hard way, yesterday. I think we both got a really good understanding of where the other one was and what we both needed from each other. I feel better today, she seems to as well (no, I haven't asked her... I am trying to do better about expecting her to communicate the same way I do).

Our weekend, without the stumbling and fumblng, has been good. We went to Mandy's after riding around looking at houses and visited with her. We laughed and cut up, it was a great break from the intensity of our discussions that morning. We played a game called "Sequence" and it was fun too. I guess it was right around 10:00 when we headed home. We had more discussion, what ended up being the code cracker of it all, before bed... we were both so exhausted that we were asleep shortly after midnight.

You see, it doesn't have anything to do with loving each other... it has everything to do with entering a new phase in our relationship and how that changes what we need and how we convey that. Tancy is my best friend, she's the one who can make me laugh when no one can, she's the one who has seen me at my ugliest and at my best, she's the one I want to spend the most time with.... basically, she's as close to my everything that I ever want to have. I can pretty confidently say she feels the same way about me.... But we are so fundamentally different in our reaction and communication that sometimes we hit a bump in the road we have to figure out the best way to get past it.

Anyway, enough about that.

We don't have any real plans today. It's a really ugly day outside, so I certainly don't want to be outside. The house is clean. The bills are all paid, the check book is balanced (it isn't hard to balance nothing, LOL). It feels good to have these things done. I don't want to sit in the house all day.... but I don't want to spend any money either. So, we shall see.

Tomorrow is our doctors appointment to see how the baby is doing, check for proper development and possibly find out if we are having a boy or a girl. It started yesterday around noon, I started feeling nervous. I don't know why. Part of it is, I think, that we have been saying "he" for a while now.... partly because that's what I feel we are having, partly because it seems everyone else says we are having a boy... and who knows why else. I am not worried, if its a girl, that I will be disappointed. It's just the uncertainty of it all. Its like someone telling you for 5 months that they got you this really awesome gift. You think you know what it is.... but you are now about to tear that paper open and break open the packaging to see what the gift is. No doubt it will be awesome, but what is it?! It is as much excitement as it is nervous... but nerves are definitely a part of it. I just want to hear good news that all is well, looks like it should, developing well, good size, on the right track and THEN I will breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe that is actually it more than anything.... that they will do a fairly detailed check to see how the little bugger is growing and developing and I am nervous about that. I just want him or her to be healthy and doing well in there.

Ok. Today is Tancy's last day home. She starts nights tomorrow night. So, I want to enjoy the day with her today, not be on the computer all day.

I hope you all have a great Sunday.

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds everyone doing well. It's Wednesday, so half way!!

Yesterday seemed like a long day. I got all of my laundry done except some sheets and floor rugs. I'll get that done today. I cooked dinner last night, a really easy chicken casserole and a cheater chocolate ice box pie. Mandy and Lauren came over and had dinner with us and played on the Wii.

I think I have neglected to give you all a heads up about the Wii. They are super fun and good exercise. However, if you do the assesment, be forewarned, if you are overwieght, your Mii goes from being normal size to swelled up. He or she will even look down at their huge midsection like "what the hell just happened to me?!". It is a humbling and yet hilarious moment. Not to mention, they stay that way! At least until you slim your ass down!! Haha. Funny and very sobering all at the same time. I am a chicken and very self concious, so I did it when I was home alone.... if I weren't pregnant AND had done it with anyone else in the room, it might not have been so funny for me. Just a little heads up (they should really tell you that your Mii is going to expand to match your girth!).

Anyway, we had a good time. I started feeling some uncomfortable pains up in my ribs and felt my battery beginning to drain way too early. We had planned a date night... Well, I got emotional over nothing (guess I've hit th pregnant lady crazies) and that was the end of any romance that might have taken place otherwise. Poor Tancy, I feel so bad sometimes because no matter the cause of my emotional outbreak, she always catches the brunt of it. I know it makes her feel like an asshole, even when she didn't do anything. I don't intend it to be that way, but its one of those times where you show your worst to the one you know will still love you when it is all said and done. I mean, who else would let me squall about the wax being too hot when I got my eye brows waxed and not make me feel like a lunatic (cause I know that's how I am behaving, I just can't seem to control it at that point). She just holds me and tells me its alright, apologizes if she feels some responsibility and assures me it isn't that serious. She's wonderful and I am crazy. Go figure! LOL.

Lately my struggle has been feeling alone. During the day I want to be able to call someone and go for a walk or get a bite of lunch or just hang out. But everyone has their own lives... And lets not forget jobs. So I don't know what to do. I need to find a way to distinguish those feelings, but I am just not sure how. I need to connect with other people during the day sometimes. Sometimes, I enjoy my days to myself. I never know which way I might feel till daylight (or grey) hits. If everyone I know has something going on... and I obviously can't be on the phone all day... what do I do when I am feeling like I need that human connection? I call my Mom in the mornings, that kicks my day off positively every time. But after that, I might not talk to another living soul till Tancy gets home.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. I am not complaining about my life. I have it really good and I don't forget that. I have a wonderful woman who loves me enough to put up with my good and bad days. We are expecting our first child. I am already able to be at home and will continue to do so after our child is born (and legally need to not work for medical and tax purposes, but thats a whole other blog). We don't do without much of anything, even though money gets alot tighter than I am comfortable with. We have great families and wonderful friends. I am simply looking for suggestions to help me with my dilemna. Any suggestions?

Alright kids. Today is check book balancing day! FUN!! Can you read the excitement in my words?!

I hope that you all have fantastic days. I am going to get my chit done and maybe go for a walk or something. I am thinking today is one of those "get out of the house" days. We'll see how I feel after bills are paid. LOL.

Love to all!

Guy walks into an ice cream parlor.
Fella behind the counter asks what'll he have. 
Guy says "I'll have two scoops of chocolate".
Fella says "We're out of chocolate".
Guy says "Hmm. Ok. I'll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate".
Fella says "I told ya, we're out of chocolate".
Guy says "Well, alright, I'll have a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate".
Fella asks "Can you spell the VAN in vanilla?"
Guy spells "V A N"
Fella asks "Can you spell the STRAW in strawberry?"
Guy spells "S T R A W"
Fella asks "Can you spell the FUCK in chocolate?"
Guy thinks for a second and says "There's no Fuck-in chocolate."
Fella says "That's what I been trying to tell ya!"

For some reason, this joke struck me as hilarious... I am sure it losses something being typed out... but it still makes me chuckle.

And for whatever strange reason, it made me think of my Pops. Probably because he has that same dry sense of humor and would respond to some dumbass very much the same way as the fella at the ice cream parlor.

Again, makes me laugh. Hope you got a chuckle out of it too.

Good morning all! How are you this fine morning?

Yesterday was a bit productive... not much though. I felt a bit more aches and pains (back specifically) than I have been and just couldn't seem to push past it. It wasn't all that bad, I just felt like taking it easy was the answer for me. Today I do want to get moving, I'd like to get in touch with Mandy and us go for a walk.

I picked up around the house a bit and took care of the stuff that seemed to have been sitting on the love seat forever. I felt hungry all day, but my belly burned and nothing sounded good... so I snacked on pistacios and canned fruit. For dinner I had Mac-N-Cheese, cooked perfectly for me by my honey.

I tried to cash in the coins that I had rolled last week. Freakin' banks wont cash it unless you have an account through them. Whatever! So, I'll have to drive in to Dallas in the next couple of days to cash it in. I headed back home after getting some frozen yogurt.

The day was fairly dull. I picked my book up around 3:30 I guess. I read a bit before Tancy got home, then it was time to sync her phone and that took me till about 2 hours to get it all done. We had a good chat and got all caught up on the day. She said that the guys in her "class" bitched about the obstacles they had to go through. She thought it was fun. And women are the weaker sex. Ha!

She was tired and stinky (her words, not mine) from sweating the last half of the day going through the obstacles. She did her Wii fitness assessment and some of the exercises. She seemed to have fun and it was sure fun watching her! I laughed at what she was doing when I was paying attention. The phone sync took most of my attention though.

After we both ate it was time for bed. She'd already gotten her bath while I was going through the sync process on her phone. We watched TV for a bit, our normal wind down routine, then off to sleep. I had some crazy dreams (detailed in the week 18 post) and had a somewhat restless night. Everything starting to expand and stretch and it seemed like I could feel every bit of it last night. I did sleep and seemingly enough, just wasn't the dead sleep that feels sooo good.

So she's off to Fire Brigade training again today. All classroom today. I am going to get a few things done around here and see if I can't get in touch with Mandy to see what her day looks like. Hopefully we can go for a walk today. That'd be great.

Alright kids... two posts and I have spent enough time on this computer. I need to get dressed and get moving around in the house. Otherwise Tancy will come home today and really begin to wonder what the hell I've been doing all day!

Aunt Jan, I am still waiting for you to tell me about what kind of surgery they will do on your knee and how long it will take you to recouperate from that..... you got time to make fun of me, you got time to give me details. LOL. Love ya! Hope you arent going stir crazy by now.

Love to all!

Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing of the day yesterday! As of yesterday afternoon, I am officially, legally a Dean!

See the big picture

How your baby's growing:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

Wow, I can't believe how close to half way we are. Seems like just yesterday that we found out we were pregnant. The second trimester has been good to me. I really can't complain about the pregnancy in general (though I am sure I did during times I wasn't feeling great). Outside of the hernia issue, I haven't felt sick. Outside of not pooping, I haven't really even been uncomfortable (that was enough thank you). Of course, not even half way, there's still alot of changing and growing to go. I have had, what I would like to consider, typical headaches and backaches at this point. Nothing major. Sometimes moving around helps, other times not so much.

I've noticed how quickly my body lets me know that I need water. Usually by rapidly swelling hands and sometimes feet as well. I don't have slender fingers, but I've never had chubby hands either... when I can look down and they look 2 inches shorter and that much wider, I know its time to hit the bottle (of water that is). Seems that my bowel issues have subsided for now. However, now there's a ton of gas in my belly. Not exactly lady like, lucky for me I am home alone all day. LOL.

I have continued to lose weight (no, I am not trying to lose weight. no, my doctor doesn't feel there's any cause for concern). I think, to date I've lost about 16 pounds (comparing my last weight at the doctor to the weight yesterday on the Wii). I will have a more accurate number on Monday. We should also know if its a boy or a girl (though I will warn you... if its anything like Momma, it might be too modest to let us see).

I continue to be frustrated with my clothing options. I have a pair of maternity pants that fit, but if I don't set them just so on my belly are a bit short. I have a pair of maternity pants that are long enough but much to big at this point. Outside of that, I have regular pants (worn before I got pregnant) that are even bigger now than they used to be. Not that I am complaining, it could be worse, I could be sewing a sheet to fit over my ass because I can't find anything else. LOL. Which, hey, could happen before its all over with. Haha, lets hope not though! Casie is sweet enough to bring her maternity pants to Mom for me to try on and see if they fit. I am a bit concerned about the size difference between the two of us, but it doesn't hurt anything to try them on. (I don't have alot of options for hand-me-down maternity clothes; too tall, too fat, boobs are too big.... whatever!)

Believe it or not (it surprises me) I have found more comfort with my body and have a better body image currently than I have in a long time. Yes, I am still over weight. Sure, I'd still like to be skinny with a little pregnant belly showing. But I am depressed about my size. I don't feel bad about me, how I look or don't for that matter. I am less concerned with what number is on the scale than I have ever been in my entire life. I just want to eat what feels right to be eating and to not allow myself to feel negatively right now. I want this time to be a good and happy time, a time where everything feels good to me, including myself. I think I am there. Again, certainly more than I ever remember being. Maybe this outlook will stick! That would be fantastic!! I guess, to sum it up, I feel like I am right where I am suppose to be... and I am who I am suppose to be. There's great comfort in that.

I've had crazy dreams which I chalk up to being pregnant... but there's no way to know that for sure. Last night I had two ridiculous dreams. The first one I was traveling alone and needed to make a potty stop. I went into a McDonalds and right off the bat slipped in some ketchup on the floor. I managed not to fall, but I wasn't pleased with the public display of clumsy. One of the workers followed me, making sure I wasn't hurt. I'm fine, go away. I get to the bathroom and into a stall and I see this amazon of a woman peeking over the stalls (she had to have been 7' tall). Then I see her mamoth son doing the same. The stop at mine and the kid starts interviewing me. Hello, I am sitting on the toilet trying to pee!!! Do you mind?! He reaches over the top of the stall and lets his little pip squeek friend in, who has a camera, to take my picture for the interview.  I proceed to threaten the little one with breaking his camera, and him, if he doesn't get out of my stall. He's shocked and appauled, I reassure him that I am very serious and to get out of my stall! They leave, the end.

The second dream disturbs me and makes me laugh at the same time. Tancy fixes herself a bowl of cereal, only to find that we are without milk. I whip a boob out and fill'er up. I then realize that I need to be pumping and freezing this milk, I have 20+ weeks to go. I start talking to a few people about milk storage, etc. They all tell me there's no way I have breast milk in yet... I tell them the story and they are absolutely horrified. I start pumping anyway, in disbelief myself. That's how that ends.

My sleep patterns have definitely changed, but I seem to manage enough sleep. Though there are days I feel like I could sleep all day! Oh, and I've had a "break out" recently. My face has been relatively clear thus far... but suddenly I am a pre-pubescent kid whose face looks like it could explode at any moment! Aren't you glad you have that mental image?!

Alright kids. That's all I got on the pregnancy front. On to my regular daily blog now.

Good morning all! It is Monday and I hope this finds everyone doing well. Hopefully you had a great & restfull weekend before another week of work kicked off.

Friday during the day I made some changes to our TV, home phone and modem carrier. We will get over $300 cash back for switching. I am pretty proud of that. I was also going to make some changes to our security system... but long story short, they resigned us to another year contract... I was pissed! So, for all of you out there, that's the kind of stuff Brinks pulls. It apparently was my responsibility to keep track of the exact date (3 years ago mind you) that my contract was signed to call in. They don't give you any heads up or anything... they just sign you up to pay them for another year without any consent on your part. So, I have marked it in my calendar to remind me in Decemeber to call and cancel any contract extension before it happens. They have officially lost any chance for future business with me.

Our weekend was good. Friday night we just chilled out at the house. We did some running around first, just after Tancy got home from work. We went to the eBay store in town to see if the guy there could tell us anything about a specific item. He couldn't. Then we went to take a water sample to our fish guy, he was closed already (even though it wasn't time for him to close yet). So we went to Mary Jo Fabrics to pick up some canvas to restructure the hood for the lighting on the aquarium. And lastly we stopped by the community college to see where Tancy would have to be for training this morning. Then it was "Home James" and I started cooking dinner.

I had gotten a skirt steak at Target (a cheap piece of meat, unlike flank steak) that is used for fajita's and who knows what else. I did just that with it. Pan fried it in butter and then sliced it thin to put on fajitas. (You'll remember I had made salsa and guacamole.) We had dinner and just enjoyed each others company. It was nice. Seems like its been forever since we had that opportunity.

Saturday morning We had coffee, it is so nice to have someone fix my coffee every now and then. I had been craving French Toast, so I made myself some (I tried to guilt Tancy into doing it, but that didn't work out for me. LOL). I was delicious! Tancy later made herself a sandwich, she didn't want French Toast. Then she got online and started looking for Wii's. She's good like that... its rare that there's something I want that bad... and she tries to work it out for me. Anyway, after talking it over and looking at the recent savings we have earned from making some changes in the household, the decision was made to get a Wii. We found one priced reasonably and went and got it. This will more than likely be the last frivilous purchase for a long while. We came home, hooked it up and tried it out... it is SO MUCH FUN. Mom, you would love it. It's physical activity, but not just in an exercise room. It makes you laugh and try harder. It's quite a work out. I am sore still from the boxing on Saturday!

Soon it was time to head over to Jenn and Tab's house for dinner. We had a great visit and a great dinner. We headed home right around 10. My battery was dying and I was ready to be in my jammies. It didn't take me long either, we got home and into our PJ's and into bed. Tancy stayed up to watch SNL, I crashed very quickly. I slept like a log. Strange dreams as well. Nothing bad, just very imaginative. LOL.

Sunday morning we got up a bit earlier than Saturday, not by much. It is so comforting to sleep in, together, and not have any place to be or any rush to climb out of bed. Again Tancy made my coffee, I swear it tastes better when she makes it. We sat on our butts on the couch for a bit and then started moving. First we got online and started looking at properties again. Our contract on the place we made an offer on is about up. I feel like it isn't the place for us more and more. But we still think its a good possibility that we will sell our house (which means we have to find a place). We found a property that is about 15 minutes from here (in the opposite direction of where we were headed last time). We drove past it, decided it was a possibility and contacted our Agent. She'll arrange a showing for us this week some time.

When we got home we got started on the house work. I got the kitchen done while she was working on the floors. I gathered up dirty clothes (not many, I actually did a better job with laundry than I thought) and just put things back where they go. While we waited on the floor to dry we started working on the puzzle Tancy's Mom got for us in Ohio. Tancy was having some trouble with her back, so that didn't last too long, kitchen chairs aren't exactly overly comfortable.

Next we started working on the aquarium. Tancy took apart the hood that we got with the lighting. We couldn't get to the fish to feed them. So, once that was done, we started re-building it to work for us. Once that was done, I got to work putting the canvas that we'd gotten Friday night on it. What a pain in the ass! Tancy worked on the water change with a few snags along the way. We learned, the hard way, to do the work on Saturday so that Sunday we can take it easy. We didn't get finished with it all till nearly 7:00 and were both worn out!

We got baths and into bed. We watched some of the golden globes. I had to pee every 15 minutes for some reason, which began to really annoy me. About 9:00 I was ready to go to sleep. I think Tancy watched TV for a bit longer before going to sleep. I think we both slept well. I had another night of interesting dreams. I was in boot camp and since I am pregnant, they made me pack a skillet around. My "training" was less strenuous than everyone else's and they were very nice to me. Like I said, interesting!

This morning, though our wake time was later, was basically the same routine. Up, dogs out, coffee on, dogs fed, coffee made (cups poured), visit a minute, watch the morning news (mostly for the weather report) and see Tancy off to on her way to work... or trainging. Then I log onto the computer, check email, send my morning emails, read blogs, comment, and then blog about my latest goings on. Once my computer stuff is done I will start laundry, all the floor mats need to be washed as do some sheets and "nasty rags" from cleaning the floor, etc. Oh! And there are the towels from the salt water spill yesterday!! That's an entire load right there. Once that's started I will pick up the remaining items in the living room from working with the canvas and a few pieces of wood and some tools out from yesterday. Basically just working around the house. It's mostly "tidying up" today. A few bigger cleaning projects, but mostly putting things back where they go.

So, I know you are all back to work today. I hope your week goes well. Casie, Chuck & Marlie will be headed to Louisiana Wednesday I think... I hope they have a good time while they are there. Alright kids, I should really get to work!

Love to all!