If the title doesn't read like a big red flag I don't know what to tell ya. LOL. This blog is expressly for the purpose of venting and hopefully, subsequently making me feel better. Read at your own risk.

So today I felt fairly crabby... or prickly would be a better term probably. Our doctors appointment was scheduled for 2:20 and honestly I didn't see the point in going. When Tancy got up we talked a bit about it and how I felt (I had already talked to Mom, Aunt Jan and Missy about it... they all assured me that it is something all women feel at the end of their pregnancy). I just really couldn't care less about going to the doctor. The only good thing about going was to hear her heart beat and the fact that Tancy's Mom was going to go in order to hear her heart beat. I was happy to be able to share that with her. Lauren went as well. But as far as I could see I knew I wasn't in labor, I was pretty sure I wasn't dilated, so what could she possibly tell me? Nothing, go home, see you next week?! I just didn't want to hear those words. I felt near tears and if I could have cried I would have and been happy for the release.

We got there and were called back pretty quickly. I gained 1 pound, my blood pressure was 128/70. While we waited for a room my face, the left side, went numb. Scared the shit out of me... your face should not go to sleep! It eased before we got into the room, thankfully. Then we had to work out timing, I was getting the loved by all pelvic exam and didn't need or want an audience for that (no one really wants to be a part of that if it isn't necessary). So Dr. Lugue came in first and did my exam, no dilation, locked down tighter than Fort Knox (my words, not hers). She left so I could get dressed and then everyone came in to hear her heart beat. It was good, right where it should be. Measured my belly, right on track. Felt around for her head, right at my pubic bone. Also good. She said that all the cramping was a good thing, means everything is doing what it is suppose to do. (But nothing is happening!!) So we go back in on Tuesday morning for another exam and to go over all the paper work for induction. It will be scheduled for the 18th should the need remain.

I talked to her about my face going numb just minutes before, she said that was weird but didn't seem concerned. She checked to see if I was retaining fluid. Said I had some protein in my urine but it wasn't alarming and my blood pressure was great and so was my weight gain so she wasn't concerned about it. She told me what to watch for as signs of concern but said she really didn't think I was even at risk for preeclampsia. She asked how I felt, I told her physically fine, emotionally I was pretty well over it. She said that was normal.... and to deal with it (with a chuckle, which we all shared... because what else can I really do?!). So out we went and scheduled our appointment for Tuesday morning at 10:00.

No sooner than we left my ears did this weird thing where everything sounded loud. My voice didn't sound like my own to me and like who ever that was was hollering. Then it was like I couldn't hear anything and my hand (left hand this time, same as the doctors office) went numb again. I went to sit down after we ordered our food. I was feeling pretty well freaked out. Before long the sound returned to a normal level and the numbness subsided. But then my eye sight went blurry... here comes the migraine! Great! Cause I am not already stressed and emotionally twisted enough, give me an intense amount of pain that I can't take anything for! Tancy called the doctors office to find out what I could take, the Tylenol 3 that had been prescribed to me earlier in pregnancy, just watch not to take with regular Tylenol as that would be "over doing it". Ok.

Less than half way home the blurry vision cleared up and this was not good, usually as soon as the blur is gone the pain starts. It did, but it was a dull kind of pain instead of the usual sharp, searing pain. I was just hoping it would remain at that level. By the time we got home my stomach was upset. Just another bright, sunshiny spot in my day! I always do enjoy being able to shit through a screen door! I pretty well vegged on the couch after that, text Mom, Casie & Aunt Jan. All very encouraging and trying to ease my mind.

Here's the thing. Today I did not expect to be dilated. And whether I was or wasn't doesn't mean much of anything... you can be 3 cm for days and not be in labor, or you can go from nothing to full blown labor in a matter of hours. Not a big deal, not a big surprise. What I get hung up on is NOT wanting to be induced. I want to go into labor on my own, at home and to be able to ride out as much of it NOT in the hospital as possible. At home, where I can be in my own environment, where I can decide if I want to be in the living room or in the tub or to take a walk. I want to go in to the hospital when the contractions are either too intense to stand for me any longer or too close together to wait any longer. Which ever one comes first. Not because I want to be a hero or something silly like that. I don't have grand notions of no pain relief or anything like that. I just don't want to be in the hospital for an extended period of time simply waiting on "go" time. Now, that could happen even if I go into labor on my own, I understand.... But if they induce that is an absolute. I will be in the hospital before I am even sitting on GO. I'll have to be there from zero clear to 60, so to speak. That's a long time to be in the hospital. And honestly, I am more concerned about being induced than her coming today or Tuesday. That's what really gets me twisted up. Sure, I wish I would go into labor tonight! That would be fabulous... it could still be Saturday before she was born... but that wold be ok. I just don't want to be induced... which, from where I sit, seems like is exactly what I'll get... if for no other reason because I don't want it that much!

My head has remained a dull ache, thankfully. I don't know if I could take a full blown migraine tonight. The Braxton Hicks have also gotten more frequent and more intense. This has been really hard on me. I will tell you why... when they hit, its a tightness high on my belly, just under my chest. It feels very much like a bad panic attack... that tightness in that area specifically. So it creates a level of anxiety in me that I can't manage. The worse it gets the higher my anxiety level rises. By the time it eases I am really worn out and no matter what I tell myself my brain thinks I've had a panic attack. I think this is quite possibly at the top of the list for why I am "over it" at this point. I can take pain. Braxton Hicks aren't pain, at least not mine. They just make me feel like I can't breathe. So I'll be glad to not have those... they are so draining.

I was going to go to Mandy's and help Ms. Sue get things going for dinner tomorrow night and the graduation party on Saturday... but after the start of the migraine and just my emotional disposition I decided that staying home was the best. I can crawl into bed here in a little while and just space completely out. I can cry if I want, I can be mad if I want and I don't have to worry about taking it out on anyone. Tancy's Mom called to tell me what her game plan was, Tancy answered for me because at the time my head hurt to bad to be on the phone... still does to be honest... and Tancy told her about my migraine. She was very kind and said she vividly remembered feeling the way I was feeling when she was pregnant with her first (Mandy), that it was truly miserable and to just try to take it easy and get some rest. I thought that was very sweet of her. I always appreciate when people will tell you their stories, especially when it is something you don't necessarily care to admit (like being miserable or an emotional wreck). I share my shit all the time, but I don't really know how not to... Most people are not like that. Sometimes I wish I wasn't... that I could just put on a happy face and say "I feel great!". Cause physically that's pretty close to the truth. But that isn't the full truth and I don't stop there! LOL. Which most wish I would I am sure.

Alright, I have had enough of this. I am feeling some better, not nearly as twisted as I was earlier. So I am going to stop while I am somewhat ahead. I am hoping for an early night tonight. At this point I do not plan on taking a Tylenol 3, prefer not to if I can avoid it and I think I can. Wish me luck with the "early" part!

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds you all doing well on this Thursday. It's foggy here and humid. I woke up when Tancy came home and was unable to go back to sleep... as much as I wanted to! So at 8:00 I finally got out of bed and made coffee.

Yesterday was an ok day. I felt really terribly nauseous most of the day. I ate, and actually ate quite a bit with Tancy before she left for work. When she left I went over to Mandy's to visit with them, Tancy's Mom and Zack came in for Lauren's graduation. Mandy and I took a walk... I needed some physical activity and just to be out of the house... outside in general. It was a short walk... the rain was coming in and we just got back to the house before the bottom fell out. I had a tomato sandwich with them and we all visited a bit. Around 8:30 or so I left to come home. I got home at about 9:45 and was just hoping to avoid a migraine, I'd had a cluster headache trying to start all evening.

I got out my stationary (I can't believe I even still have any) and wrote Maw-Maw a letter. I have been sending her my blog posts, but wanted to send her something personal and hand written before Lillie is born. So I did that and by about 10:30 or so was trying to go to sleep. I don't think I had to try too hard... I woke up at 12:15 to Hemmi barking his damn fool head off at who knows what! Scared the shit out of me and if I'd had my bearings about me at the time I just might have flogged him. He finally settled down and I was so twisted I was shaking! I got up and made a potty run and eventually settled back down and to sleep. I think I was up about every hour, but I slept so hard. Tancy got in at about 6:45 and I heard her in the living room crinkling something. I got up to see why she hadn't come to bed yet... she was eating chips and dip. She did come to bed, but by then I was awake. I laid in bed a while with her, tried to go back to sleep, but it was all in vein.

I got up, started the coffee and fed the pups. I talked to Mom for a minute. Then I called Maw-Maw. I had called her yesterday, but she was having coffee with the men who were bailing hay in the fields on either side of her house. So I talked to her for a bit and then let her get back to her coffee this morning with Aunt Judy.

Now I am just waiting on time to get a shower and get ready to go to the doctor. I am not all that excited one way or the other to go. I always love hearing her heart beat and I am excited about possibly getting another ultrasound and seeing her again... but ultimately why get excited about being sent home, not ready for baby? I am not physically miserable. I am lucky that way. I know alot of women, at this point in the pregnancy (just days from my due date) are truly miserable and so much so its very difficult for them. I don't feel this way. I have discomforts, but from a physical perspective, I feel pretty good. My patience has just worn thin and I am done, tired of waiting. Which just means that the wait is inevitable. LOL. I forget what that "law" is called, where what you absolutely don't want is exactly what you get... but I know that's whats happening with me. I want the wait to be over so badly that I will most definitely have to wait till the 18th. I can laugh about it at least. So the doctors appointment today isn't as exciting as appointments previously, for me. I'd love nothing more than to have the exam and her tell me that we are making progress and she's on her way... in labor and just don't know it or something ridiculous like that. But I am fairly certain that isn't going to happen.

So, tonight is Tancy's last night and I am thrilled! Tomorrow will be a full day. Tancy has physical therapy and then a doctors appointment for some blood work. Then we will go over to Mandy's to spend some time with the family. So it will be much better than these last days of sitting in a quiet house by myself waiting for Tancy to get up so I can cook before she leaves to go to work and then sitting in a quiet house by myself waiting on sleep to come. I wont have to look for ways to occupy myself and that alone should help the days pass as well as take my mind of off the wait. I am truly my father's child... I can only wait so long before it starts to be an uncomfortable thing. In some ways I am surprised that it took me 39 weeks to get here. And boy when it did, it jumped on me all at once!

My belly is sore today, like I did a ton of sit ups in my sleep last night. I am fairly certain this is NOT the case! LOL. Its another day waking up and initially thinking that my period is going to start... then shaking the cob webs loose in my head and realizing that I am pregnant and that isn't going to happen... that feeling is something else. I am really glad, however, to be sleeping so well at this point. Sure, its interrupted all night by my bladder, but it is sound when I am asleep... and the interruptions are only going to be longer waking periods here shortly, so I wont complain about that.

My coping mechanism at this point is setting small mile markers to look forward to. The first was today, the doctors appointment and it's Zack's birthday. The next is tomorrow, Tancy is officially off of nights... we have appointments and plans (celebrating Tylor and Zack's birthday), so the day is full. Saturday is Lauren's graduation, so that will be another full day. Sunday I am sure will be more family time. Monday my Mom will be here and that is Tylor's birthday (he really wants Lillie to be born on his birthday... isn't that sweet?!). Tuesday is my due date, I think we'll have a doctors appointment then and Ms. Sue's birthday, she also would love Lillie to be born on her birthday. Wednesday is Marlie's 1st birthday, I can't believe it!! And Thursday they will evict Lillie if she is still on (actually in) the premises. So I can count down one day at a time, filling each day as much as possible to occupy myself.

Tonight is my only obstacle... the last night of nights. I need to do some laundry and some dishes... I have contemplated staying home tonight and getting those things done. But Mandy and Ms. Sue have asked me to come over there and spend some time... so I am just not sure what I will do. I will see what my mood is like after the doctors appointment. We will basically make a beeline home and I'll make dinner for Tancy, she'll eat and then she'll have to leave. So there really wont be alot of time to think about much of anything this afternoon.

I don't have much else.... Just killing time at this point, so you all know how ridiculous my posts can get at that point. With that said, I am going to sign off. I hope you all have a great day and a wonderful weekend. I don't know how much I will blog after today... I am hoping to really fill my time between now and Lillie's arrival, whenever that is.

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds you all doing well. It's 9:00 here and I have only been up for about 20 minutes.

Night before last I baked a bunch of chocolate chip cookies. You know this already. After that I got a bath and then worked on Lillie's baby book. I transferred my letter to her on to the paper I had selected at Hobby Lobby and then arranged the book to make room for some things I wanted to add. I also added some additional pages so that I don't have to take the book apart every time I want to add something to it. I finished that up sometime before midnight. I'm guessing I was asleep by 1:00. I slept well. The usual midnight bathroom runs, but otherwise I slept good.

I got up yesterday morning and went about my normal routine. Dogs out to potty, coffee on to drip, dogs in and fed, cup of coffee poured then parked on the couch and try to wake up. I woke up feeling wide awake... and anxious. I blogged about that already though. I balanced the check book and played around online. I milled around the house and just tried to keep things quiet so Tancy could sleep as long as possible. Nights are tough for both of us for different reasons. Sitting quietly in the house all day doesn't exactly make for a wonderful day for me. She's been a little less than thrilled about me being home without her at night... but she knows that I am ok. I think she just really wants to be here to be sure of that for herself, in case I need something.

So yesterday was uneventful. Tancy got up around 1:00 and had coffee. We chatted and caught up on each others nights.I told her that I had the dough for her wafer cookies all mixed up and would make them when she went to work. That made her very happy. She got her bath and got dressed, I started dinner. I had taken out a flank steak and was going to make it like my Paw-Paw Leo used to make it. I also decided that broccoli and cauliflower was going to go with it. We are talking about a 10 minute meal.... and some kind of yummy! So I set about that while on the phone with Mom. We had a good chat and before I knew it, dinner was ready. It was so good. I always love flank steak and it brings back some pretty vivid memories of my Paw-Paw in the "big house" when I was a kid.

I cleaned up the kitchen after we ate and we just settled back down on the couch and soaked up the time we had together till she had to go to work. I really felt a sense of dread at the thought of her leaving. I don't know why... I did my best to keep that to myself, but I am sure in some ways she knew it. I think she was feeling it too. Before long it was time for her to go and that was that.

I immediately set about baking the wafer cookies. I made 118 individual cookies in all. They only bake for 8 minutes, so it was done in no time flat... the part where I put them in the oven at least. LOL. I sat down for a while once I had cleaned the kitchen up. I chatted on facebook with my Pops and Aunt Jan. That was a blast. Entertained me to no end! Not long after we all got off line I went into the kitchen and made sandwiches out of the individual cookies. Red icing, as close as I could get to scarlet. 59 bite sized wafer cookie sandwiches. I had two of them just to make sure they were good. They were!

After that I decided to get a bath with my new lavender goats milk soap. See if that might help me to calm down a bit and get some rest. At 9:45 I was getting in the tub. I was out by 10:00 and in bed. I just laid there and watched some junk TV and tried to relax. I started to hurt some, differently than I had been hurting but it felt like muscles low in my pelvis stretching more than anything. By 11:30 or so I was making my best attempt at sleep. I must have been tired too because I woke up at 1:30 for a bathroom break. I was up about every 2 - 2.5 hours all night long. But I slept good.

This morning I was up around 8:40. I wanted to just lay there in bed, but the dogs were getting rambunctious, so I got up to prevent them from waking Tancy. We went through our usual paces... just another morning.

I have decided that Lillie isn't coming until the 18th when they induce. I partially believe this and partially hope that it isn't so. I don't want to be induced. I would just rather things happen on their own. But right now I feel sure that she's found a hand hold of so sort in there and has decided not to come out. LOL. Wondering every day, yesterday specifically, is too much. So, I tell myself that it'll be the 18th.

Alright kids. I don't have much else to say today. I need to get some more posts ready to send to Maw-Maw before Lillie does come. I know she enjoys reading my posts... I just have to give them a quick look over first to make sure I haven't used any vulgarities. LOL. I would not be happy to send something inappropriate to her.

I hope that everyone has a great day today. It's hump day!!

Love to all!

Ok, here's a blog like I haven't written in a while. It is strictly to try to clear my head and calm down a bit. You've been warned...

I have no idea why but this morning I feel fairly anxious and what I would describe as twisted. You all know that anxiety has been something that I have dealt with for a long time. But through my pregnancy I haven't really had alot of it. Maybe in the beginning when hormones were in full swing, but for the most part I have really been incredibly, uncharacteristically, calm. Sure I have cleaned like a crazy lady, organized like my life depended on it and completed every task I could see needed to be done... and then some. But I did all of that very calmly, no real sense of urgency or stress, just something to do. That matter of fact. I was excited to see the results in all the organization. I was happy to smell that clean smell of ammonia. It was such a comfort to see the trash and dirt leave the house. But even in the things I didn't get done, like baseboards, there was no anxiety (which is how it would have been pre-pregnancy) about not completing a task on the "To Do" list. It just was something I wasn't going to be able to do and that was fine. There are, believe it or not, things that I wanted Tancy to do that haven't been done and that doesn't bother me at all, where previously I would have been twisted as hell about that!
I say all of this to illustrate that I was very calm. Although to others I probably appeared to be losing my mind! LOL.

Even in the last week, I haven't been able to sit still. This hasn't been anxiety or anything like that. Just physically I am more comfortable to keep moving. Plus my brain turns all the time, looking for something that I didn't get done that I would really like to do or thinking about Mom and Dad being here, thinking about when family is coming in, thinking, thinking, thinking... Again though, not in my usual obsessive manner, just turning things over, looking at them, taking a mental inventory and removing unwanted/unneeded items. I enjoy being productive, always have, and so not sitting still continued to give a sense of accomplishment.

The house is clean. As clean as it is going to get. I am done with the scrubbing, satisfied with all that we have accomplished. We have a pretty good amount of food in the freezer, so I don't feel an overwhelming desire to cook and freeze everything in the house. I have stocked the cabinets with disposable plates and cups for when we have company so no one has a ton of dishes to do. I also put the plastic forks and spoons in the silverware drawer. I have planned ahead as far as I can. I have sterilized everything that needs sterilizing. I have organized absolutely everything that I intend to organize. Everything has a home at this point and that's where it stays. We have been doing a pretty good job of that. The hospital bag is packed and ready to go. Hell, I am baking cookies just trying to occupy myself.

But today, I feel that old anxiety creeping in. I used to be able to tell you where it was coming from... but today, I have no idea. Mom says it's because I am running out of things to do... I say I have never had a problem finding something to do. I could probably name off a dozen things right now. But they aren't important things and I don't feel the need to keep "doing" those sorts of things. I haven't made a list in days!! Shocking I know! Nor do I feel compelled to. I just want to figure out where these feelings are coming from and change it. It's not unbearable or miserable, I just don't like it.

Is this part of the end of pregnancy too? I don't feel apprehensive about having a baby to care for soon. I don't feel like overly impatient about her arrival, she'll get here when she gets here and not a moment before! I honestly have no idea.

Any input?

Hello all. I hope this finds you all doing well. Most of you are probably currently in bed. It is 9:14 here now.

Last night I was exhausted when I went to bed at 11:30. I thought sure I would go to sleep the second my head hit the pillow. I was wrong. It was sometime between midnight and one in the morning when I fell asleep. Tancy came to bed at 1:15 and I woke up when she did. She watched TV for a bit and I lightly dozed till she turned the TV off. Then I crashed. I was up about every 2 hours to pee. I have been working really hard to get lots of water in each day (it is my understanding that dehydration, even a little, can make you feel like you are in labor... only to get to the hospital, get a bag of fluid and everything come to a screeching halt, I don't want that), so although I am normally up every few hours I am now up even more. That and my hips hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurts... every part of my body is uncomfortable and parts take turns waking me up to tell me so!

I was up this morning around 8:00 I guess. I would really have loved to sleep later but I was wide awake and the puppies were getting restless. I didn't do much first thing this morning. What did I do? I had coffee, food for the dogs, facebook and emails. Tancy was up at 11:00 and by that time I had taken care of the laundry and the dishes. I had picked up a few things in the living room and kitchen. She had coffee and I made our bed and picked up our bathroom. Once she'd had her coffee she took out the trash and swept the floors.

Our dog trainer (we used her for puppy classes when we first got Scout) was coming out to assess the dogs for us and give us any pointers for when the baby comes. So I wanted to show her the puppies spaces (sleeping, resting, chews, toys, eating, etc.) and that meant our bed needed to be made and just general picking up around the house. We knocked that out pretty quickly. We make a good team.

Dee, the trainer, got here around 2:00. The puppies did well, of course part of that is her interaction with them. If they jumped, which they only did minimally, she didn't respond. Only once they settled down did she interact with them. Also she didn't hesitate to correct their behavior when necessary. We showed her around the house (their environment) and talked to her about the things we were working on. She watched our interactions with them and their interactions with each other. She told us what a great job we had done thus far and gave us some things to look for. She was here for about an hour and a half. It was great and we both felt alot better about the work we have been doing with the dogs. I did give them a kong each while she was here in order to up the anty a bit... sure enough, they both wanted the same one and before long their behavior shifted. I waited so that she could tell me how to handle the situation. She said that she would take the kongs... this is what I normally do actually, so I was happy about that as well. She did not charge us for the house call, said it was our gift from her. That was a very generous gift! She also called me a clean freak which gave me a sick pride!! LOL.

After she left I cooked dinner for us. Pan fried pork chops and macaroni and cheese. We both ate at the table. This always makes me happy. We chatted about the house call while we ate and just enjoyed each others company. I had decided I was going to run some errands after Tancy left for work, so Tancy said she would leave me the car. The truck is just so hard to get in and out of at this point. Before long we both got ready for our evenings and all but sat and waited on time for her to leave.

I headed to the health store. I wanted to get some lavender oil, Dee's suggestion, to use on the dogs. She said it helps to calm them, just like people. You can put a dab at the base of their skull in the back and it relaxes them. So we figured we would give it a try. I got the oil first and from there headed to Wal-Mart. I had a list of things to look for, I didn't find everything. I did get the basics and then decided that I would bake cookies. I had contemplated this earlier in the day, but being there I finally made the decision. So I gathered the ingredients I needed (or so I thought) and headed to the check out.

I got home and unloaded what little bit I got. I got my recipe out for Tancy's favorite cookies and went to get the rest of the ingredients. This is when things took a turn... I had a ton of self rising flour, but no all purpose.... I needed all purpose for both recipes I was going to make. Ugh! Nothing to do but go to the grocery store and get flour! I made that run and back home. I mixed Tancy's cookie dough first, it has to refrigerate at least 2 hours, preferably over night. I put that in the fridge and then made the chocolate chip cookies. I started those baking and cleaning up the kitchen as I went. Once all the chocolate chip cookies were baked I made the icing for Tancy's cookies. I put that in the fridge too. I finished cleaning the kitchen and decided I'd have to make Tancy's cookies tomorrow. My feet hurt, my back hurt... that was enough baking for the night. I put everything back in place and sat down on the couch.

Here I sit. I was going to work on Lillie's baby book, but right now I am so tired. I think once I get cooled off (the oven heats the kitchen and living room so much) I will get a bath and just get in bed. Maybe I'll take the baby book stuff in our bedroom with me. Or maybe it'll just wait till tomorrow. Never can tell what I will get into! I haven't even had a cookie yet!!

The house is clean, food is cooked, cookies are baked, laundry is done, dishes are cleaned... I am running out of things to do around here. I mean, I am sure I could tear some shit apart, but I don't really want to do that at this point. I am pretty happy with where things are. And I don't want to drag something out that I can't finish before Lillie gets here.

My head just spins sometimes. I try to figure out what to do with myself without over doing it. The trouble is not over doing it usually. I really have had to learn quite a bit of self control over the last couple of months. I haven't always liked it, but I do realize that its a good thing. In a really short period of time it wont matter to me if the doors have been wiped down or not... so I'd best learn this now and come to terms with it instead of struggling with it once Lillie is here.

Well, I did put a drop of Lavender oil on both of the puppies when I got home... and guess what... they have been chilled out and sleeping since I did so. They were perfectly behaved while I was baking cookies and they are presently sacked out on their bed here in the living room floor. Hmm... this could really work out to be a great thing, though I wont use it often, it is good to see results. Hell, I might dab a bit behind my ears! Haha!

I have been having Braxton Hicks this evening... and something else I can't quite place. Just pains I guess. Achy, tender, sore belly. Boy my back sure has been tight for the last three days. I don't know what to do to help it ease... then again I don't really expect it will till after Lillie is born.

Alright kids, I think I am going to go get a bath and see what I feel like from there. I hope you all have a great night.

Love to all!

Hello all. It's Sunday night at 10:30 and I hope that everyone is sleeping soundly in their beds. I am sleepy, but staying up for a bit with Tancy to help her stay awake a little longer to prepare for nights Monday night.

Yesterday was a good day. We got up and took care of a few things around the house, the floor, the kitchen, the laundry... you know, the usual. We were going to to go a local event at the town square, but found that Scout was trying to dig her way out of the fence (obsessively) and decided we might be better off to stay home and work with her some. She was covered in mud! So we did... and even ended up giving both of the dogs a bath, well, Tancy did most of the work, I just helped a bit.

My belly had been sore all day. The kind of sore where bending over or getting my leg up high enough to tie my shoes was really uncomfortable. I had also been feeling pressure in my bottom all day and my lower back had been tight... so generally just un-freakin-comfortable all the way around. While Tancy was bathing Scout she shook off and got me all wet and I winced. Tancy thought it was because the water was cold. When I didn't recover quickly she laughed a bit and went back to Scout. I finally told her that I had just had a pretty intense feeling and wasn't sure what it was. It was low in my belly, not all over and although it wasn't a 10 or anything to indicate something was "happening" it certainly got my attention. We had some dialogue about what I was feeling and all and then went back to our tasks.

Soon we got baths and got ready for dinner with Ty and Val. Getting into and out of the tub was a chore. Drying off was a pain. But I managed to get it all done and bitch about it minimally. I communicated with Tancy alot, mostly because I know she wants to have a good understanding of what is going on and if I describe it while its happening that's the best I can do for her. I felt tired and worn out, wanting a nap and knowing that wasn't going to happen.

Off to dinner early so that we could make a few stops on our way. Petco first for some more gnaw-gnaw bones. Walking around in there wasn't too bad, but the top of my belly would get really tight. I would have moments of discomfort where I just wasn't sure what to do. We got out of there relatively quickly and were on to our next stop, a fish and aquarium shop near the restaurant we were meeting Ty and Val at. We looked around in there for quite a bit. At first I was fine, but before long I was increasingly uncomfortable and felt the need to sit down. My leg was starting to bother me again, my back was really hurting and again, I just wasn't sure what to do.

We headed over to the restaurant and got a table. I had to make two potty runs (waddles) before Ty and Val ever got there and they were about 10 minutes behind us. I got water, afraid that I was dehydrated and that was the reason for all the discomfort. While we were sitting there I'd feel a not so fun tightness, kinda crampy, along the bottom of my belly, kind of across my hips almost... but I could get through it without really letting on. Unfortunately, if my bladder called during one of these moments I could hardly stand and walk. This made it a little more difficult to conceal my discomfort (which I really wanted to do until I could figure out what was happening... and I just wanted to enjoy dinner with Ty and Val... I also didn't want anyone getting too excited about any of it). I sent my dear Aunt Jan a message and asked her what the beginnings of labor felt like for her. (Seems like everyone I know who has had a kid recently was induced or had a c-section.) We had some dialogue but that really didn't give me any answers.

Before long I was pushing miserable and it was pushing back. I was ready to get home, be in my own environment, get comfortable and try to figure out what was happening. I did the baby step thing walking to the car, I could barely get my legs to move... I was so freakin' uncomfortable... and baffled as to what to call this that I was feeling. On the way home I do my best to communicate to Tancy what I am feeling and we decide to start timing these "things" that were happening and see if there was a pattern or anything. I had about 4 in a row, 25 - 21 minutes apart. Then there was about an hour break with nothing and then there were 6 that averaged about 20 minutes apart. We decided that these were contractions of some sort, but nothing to get overly excited about. Immediately my thoughts went to Mom & Dad. How would I know when I should call them and let them know what was going on? I was pretty sure this wasn't that time, hell, I honestly couldn't say what was even happening. But I didn't want to wait too late to call them any more than I wanted to jump the gun. Aunt Jan and I continued to exchange messages. That was a great comfort to me. The last thing I wanted to do was to get everyone riled up, or even myself.

About 11:00 I decided I had to go to bed. I was absolutely exhausted. I went to the back, Tancy stayed up to get ready for the upcoming round of nights. I had two small (what I will now call) contractions once I laid down and then one or two more in the night that were a bit more intense. After that, nothing.

This morning I woke up, the soreness, the back pain, the contractions, all gone. I called Mom and Dad to tell them about last nights events, much better equipped to tell them whats going on without any sense of urgency or question. I know it wasn't real labor, I didn't exactly think it was last night, but I just wasn't sure. We have a good conversation, Mom puts my mind at ease and I feel even better about it all now. We decided to go to Mandy's and help her out with some of the things she wants to get done before Lauren's graduation. I figured I could cut the grass for her, not too labor intense but keeps me moving around. Being out in the sunshine is always good, especially when there's a breeze. I knew that there was no way I could sit still today. So we light out and get there about 10:00 I guess?? Not really sure to be honest, I don't think it was any later than 10:00.

I get on the mower and Tancy starts helping with other stuff. There were moments of soreness while I was cutting grass and even a few sharper pains, but nothing remarkable. I took small breaks, drank plenty of water and had a few snacks. Another change in the last two - three days, no big meals, smaller meals more frequently. We had lunch not long after I finished the yard and then I took a push broom to the carport. After that, I was done. I started feeling tightness in my belly and a little breathless. My hands were swelling and I just felt so tired. I asked Tancy if after she got Lauren's car running we could go home. I was tired and wanted a shower and to just lay down. She agreed. I paced around the carport, screen porch and even kitchen for the next 2 hours. They finally got the belt in place and it was fixed. A spin around the block for good measure and we were on our way home.

We came home, got baths and got in bed (at this point, a bath is ALOT of work, not just the getting in, but the getting out... I am more worn out when I get out than I was before). We watched a bit of TV and I had a pretty "good" contraction before we settled in to actually sleep some. I guess I slept an hour, 45 minutes maybe... I got up, let the dogs out, fed them their dinner and called Mom and Dad to check in. I'd been keeping up with them by text message most of the day. Nothing big going on with either of us so its a fairly short conversation.

Tancy got up about an hour after me. We decided to take a walk. Again, I am having trouble sitting still. We aren't 20 feet from the drive way and my hands swell up like no body's business. I mean it is so bad the skin feels like its gonna split like the skin on a hot dog on the grill. I try to hold my hands up above my heart but feel ridiculous walking this way. I keep clenching my fists to try to help also, this doesn't look any less silly. We walk to the front of our road and down to another side road and then down it a piece before turning around to come back. I just can't take the pressure in my hands. Coming up our drive way is a real peach!

We decided to go get something for dinner. I don't want to cook, Tancy doesn't either... and honestly we can't decide what we want anyway! Out we go. We finally arrive on Japanese, we have a decent place close by that serves Teriyaki chicken for $4.49 a plate and its more than you can eat at one sitting. That'll do! We get dinner and head home. We actually at dinner at the table. I have been trying to make this happen more lately, especially when Tancy gets in from work. It's yummy but I am full way too soon.

No sooner than I sit down on the couch I feel a contraction. We start keeping track. We get out some of the pregnancy books just to see what they have to say about labor and contractions. My best guess is that Lillie is testing us, getting our attention... she wants to get us good and wrapped around her little finger before she gets here. I figure that this process could go on for a week or even two more, so I am not overly excited to feel a contraction at this point. I don't think that means we'll be going to the hospital any time soon, nor do I think there's anything I can do to make it happen faster (or slow it if I were so inclined). It just is. I think I've had three now, make that four, none as intense as last nights. None that last more than 30 - 45 seconds. No real pattern either. So, again, nothing remarkable.

Right now I want to go to bed. I am going to try to stay awake a little bit longer. But I think I could sleep sitting upright at this moment. I am just trying to help Tancy cause I know she really wants to go to bed right now too. I have decided, at this point, during the day if I am tired I will lay down. I don't feel the need to scrub any more. I still find it necessary to take care of the daily stuff, but no more wiping down doors and windows. I'd rather be outside at this point.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Tancy will hopefully sleep in some. Our trainer for the dogs is scheduled to come out and give us an assessment of sorts. Then Tancy will surely head off to work at about 5:30. That's when the real fun begins... what to do with myself?! That is always the question when she's on nights!

Well kids, I think that's all I've got for now. It seems like it has been such a long day. I was up at 6:15 for some reason. I've got a feeling that today wont be the last long day before Lillie gets here. So I will be off to bed soon to try to get as much rest as my body will allow me to get. I hope you all sleep well. I am sure I will blog tomorrow at some point.

Love to all!

Good morning all. It's Saturday morning, still gloomy here, at 7:30. I've been up for about 15 minutes... slept later than I thought since I was wide awake at 4:30!! The dogs have been fed and I've got a cup of coffee. I don't know what all the day holds for me... I have a few things around the house I would really like to get done, but we shall see.

So yesterday after blogging I balanced the check book and paid some bills. We both got a bath/shower and got ready. We left a little early for the doctors appointment and got dog food first. Still tying up loose ends before the baby comes. Then we stopped and got Lauren's graduation gift since we were in town and it was a perfect opportunity. (Marlie's birthday - check, Zack's birthday - check, Father's Day - check, Lauren's graduation - check.... I think that covers everything for June that we have to get a card and/or gift for) From there we went to the doctor.

First things first, leave a urine specimen for them. Then we waited, much longer than usual, but in the lobby, which is where I'd prefer to wait. I hate sitting in an exam room waiting. Anyway, they came to get us and I was in the bathroom (that's how long we waited, I had to pee AGAIN!). So finally we go back. Check my weight, one pound gain, that's good cause I have been eating like a hog! LOL. Check my blood pressure, 108/74! The nurse was even impressed. Tancy seemed to be pretty impressed too. I don't know what those numbers mean, but I gather that's really good. From there it was back to the exam room. The nurse didn't tell me to get undressed, so we probably weren't going to get a "check up". Our doctor came in and sat down to talk to us like an old friend. She must have gotten the impression that we wanted to be induced because she led in with "We wont do anything until you are 39 weeks." So I told her that we didn't want to be induced, we just wanted her to deliver. She seemed a bit relieved to know that we weren't pushing for induction. She asked if I wanted her to check me and I said not really. The way I see it, if they don't have to be all up in my business right now I'm not volunteering for it!! Not to mention, what good would it do to know I was 1 centimeter or 4? If there's no pattern to my labor it's not time to go and that would just make me more anxious. So we decide that no check is the way to go... I'll get one next week like it or not. So she feels around on my belly and Lillie's head is much lower than it was last week, like just above my pelvic bone. She says as she gets even lower she'll press on my cervix and that will start to soften and thin out, allowing it to dilate. We are making good progress really. She listens to her heart, rate is in the 130's, right where it should be. So she isn't as high, she's moving into place and we are both doing well with all our numbers. Once she finishes checking on Lillie she sits back down and we talk about what the plan is. Basically they will NOT let you go past 41 weeks, its considered too risky for Mom and baby. So, I'll go in on my due date and if nothing has happened on its own (cause that would mean there wouldn't be a need, duh!), she will induce on the 18th. If little miss Lillie wants to do it on her terms, she'll have to do it sometime between now and the 18th, otherwise they are going to evict her! Haha!

In a way its a relief (of sorts) to have an end date (even though induction on the 18th doesn't mean she'll be born on the 18th). We left the doctor feeling good about the information she had given us and like an end was in sight. Thats the trouble with the end of the pregnancy, everything seems so uncertain. You are so excited, want the baby to get here so badly, anxious to meet your child and you sit and wait. Every twinge you wonder if that's the start of labor. Every pain you get just a little excited that this could be the beginning. I try not to think about it, but I've been dreaming each and every night about her arrival. We both just want to hold our little girl and lay our eyes on her. Oh, we also might end up with another ultrasound next week to check her size. Not sure when they will decide that.

We left the doctors office and got lunch. Then off to Hobby Lobby. I needed paper for the scrap book to write my letter to Lillie on. It's done, just gotta put it in the book. I also wanted to get two wicker baskets of some sort to put diaper change/lotion in and one for the breast pads, etc. in. Their wicker baskets were 50% off so we got a good deal. Their scrap book stuff was 50% off and so were their models (Tancy decided she wanted a model), so we did pretty good. We left from there and headed home. I was exhausted and wanted to take a nap.

When we got home we unloaded everything and pretty much went straight to bed. We dozed, but the puppies were too rambunctious and wouldn't settle down long enough for either of us to actually sleep. It was fairly frustrating. Tancy got up to take them out and let me sleep, but it was too late, I'd missed my window. I put a few of the items we had purchased where I wanted them and plugged in the receiver to the baby monitor that was in our room. We thought of two more things they had told us we would need at the hospital. Dermaplast and tucks. So we decided to go out to see Mandy and Lauren and stop on the way to get those items. We are getting closer to having those loose ends tied up I think.

CVS first to get those items for the hospital and then home. Then BiLo to get some groceries, Tancy was going to cook dinner at Mandy's for everyone. Hamburgers and fries. I guess it was about 6:00 - 6:30 when we got to Mandy's. Tancy started right away. Lauren helped. At about 7:15 we ate. Home made french fries and burgers on the grill... yummy! Lauren also made the brownies we had brought. She's a pretty good kid. Before long she & Mark left (it was a Friday night). We stayed and visited till about 9:30 and then we headed home. I was tired and swelling a bit, probably from the salt in the burgers and on the fries. I was just ready to be home. It was around 10:15 when we got home, let the puppies out and then headed to bed. We watched a little TV and then to sleep. I had trouble sleeping, but Tancy was out in no time. I don't know how many times I got up in the night last night, it seemed like even more than normal. I can tell you there's alot more pressure in my bottom and just peeing when I'm half asleep seems a little challenging.

Today I need to strip the bed and put clean sheets on it. I need to just put everything back in its proper place around the house. I need to check my list for our hospital bag, I packed our clothes yesterday evening, but I want to charge the camera and put it in there and I think there might be an item or two that I didn't throw in there. I need to take a few items out of Lillie's room and empty the trash in there. The kitchen needs to be cleaned, all the trash needs to be taken out and the floor needs to be done (it is kinda gross at this point... I can't stand it). Also, we need to take the trash to the dump. So by the time Tancy gets up I wont be able to sit still any longer and I'll get started with the general picking up while she's having coffee. She'll have to do the floors and the dump run, but I can manage the rest.

Even if we go to the 18th, this is our last weekend to get a few things done... next weekend is Lauren's graduation and Tancy's family will be in town again, so we will want to spend that time with them. Not at home cleaning. Once our short list is done maybe we will just enjoy some time together, might be our last time to just soak up some us time for quite a while. There's just no telling what the rest of the weekend might hold for us. Tancy's Dad still hasn't ruled out this weekend, it IS a full moon! LOL. I said "From your mouth to God's ears!"

Well kids, I want to check on a few things online, so I am going to wrap this up. Not sure what time Tancy will be up, but I'll be getting to it shortly after that. I hope you all have a great day and enjoy your weekend.

Love to all!

Good morning all. It's Friday morning about 20 minutes before 8:00. I have been up for about 20 minutes. Tancy is still sleeping. I thought I'd take a minute to catch you up from my last blog.

Wednesday I tried my very best to "take it easy" and just hang out here around the house. I blogged first. Then I did my price comparison on the items we still need for the baby. I wrote out three more Thank You cards, one that I completely forgot about and two that came in the mail. I didn't even make it to 11:00 before I couldn't sit still for another minute. So I decided that I would go by the bank and deposit the check we had been given for the baby and to take back the items we had gotten duplicates of. So I got dressed and out I went.

I went to the bank first and then systematically worked my way through the retailers I thought things belonged to. I say thought because I wasn't sure. That is one thing I will do differently when I give a gift from here on, a gift receipt. But anyway, I was incredibly fortunate because the women who helped me, with one exception, were incredibly nice and patient and sweet. I made sure to thank each and every one of them and tell them how helpful they had been. I guess I was home around 2:00 and exhausted! LOL. But I was glad to have that done. I couldn't have made returns and shopped in the same day... my energy level isn't that high and I just get too tired right now for all of that.

I got home and relaxed a bit. Then I needed to decide what to do for dinner. I decided to create my own something special. I wanted something light and I wanted shrimp. So I opened a can of diced tomatoes and dumped them into a pan. I opened a can of artichoke hearts, poured the liquid in the pan and then cut them up and added them to. From there it was a matter of seasoning it to my taste. Once I got it where I wanted it I added the shrimp and put the pasta on to boil. Once the pasta was done I tossed it all together and VOILA! Dinner was ready. I had a bowl waiting on the table when Tancy got home. It was pretty yummy. Not overly spectacular, but it was good. We got a call from the lady that was to come assess the dogs on Thursday, she wasn't going to be able to make it, reschedule for Monday. Great! But there's nothing we can do about that. We caught up on each others day and just vegged. To be honest, I think we were in bed about 9:00 even though I think I (not sure about Tancy) was up till about 10:00.

Yesterday morning we were both up earlier than we might have liked, but we'd slept all we could and it was still about 2.5 hours later than our most recent "norm" of 5:00. Tancy had gotten sick in the middle of the night, sore throat, dry nagging cough, we'd taken care of her in the night... but this morning she felt much worse and decided to go to the doctor to do our best to lessen my odds of getting sick. So as soon as the doctors office was open we were calling. 10:30 appointment. Terrific. So we got dressed and headed out to get a bite to eat and then on to the doctor. We were there right on time and went back quickly. He thinks she's got an upper respiratory infection. Told her to give it 24 hours before starting the "z" pack if she wasn't feeling terrible (again, we went to the doctor very early... she didn't feel like shit... yet). So we left there with that script and one for an epi-pen (because of her recent reaction to being stung).

Now for our baby shopping. We went to Mooresville first to the Super Target there to get what I had price compared and found to be the best deal there... not to mention the coupons I had. We did pretty good, actually spent less than I had budgeted for (in part because they didn't have one item and in part because some items were less than they were online). The baby dyke at the register didn't appreciate us at all and was quite rude, nice! But we made it out of there alive and Tancy was still holding up well, so we were on to our next destination. She sat in the back seat and put the mirror up and the window shades... She's getting more and more excited about Lillie coming. Unfortunately, in route she felt her throat getting worse, we looked and her tonsils were covered in white spots... nice!

Babies R Us was our next stop. We just had a few things there, namely the second base for the car seat. We made short order of that and were on our way. She was still holding up well and decided that she was good with making the last stop before heading home. Tancy put the second rear view mirror up for me so I don't have to adjust the real rear view mirror to see the baby in the back seat. (We got a deal on these items she's putting up!!) We got Chik-fil-a for lunch and made our way to Belmont. I don't even know how many times I've been in Wal-Mart lately and I don't want to think about how many more times I will be before its all said and done! I only had a few baby items that I needed there, Tancy needed to fill both prescriptions and we needed a few grocery items. We meandered through the store, got what we needed and (eventually) got the hell out of there. Tancy was feeling like shit and I had nothing left... so home we went. I was glad to be sitting on the drive home. As much as I feel like I need to move during the day that's only to a point and then I need to sit... I was well past needing to sit.

We got home and got everything unloaded. Tancy sat down, feeling really awful and I started going through everything, pulling out what needed to be washed, sorting through what would go where and putting things away. She played with the monitor we had gotten and put it up for us. I knew she wanted to help more, but just felt terrible. I felt so bad for her. She put the frog that Mary got us up in the bathroom for the bath toys. It is sooo cute! She also put the humidifier together and where it goes for me. I got the diaper bag full of the "travel" type stuff that (at this point) I feel like I need to have with us when we go places. I don't have diapers packed in it yet... waiting to see how chunky our monkey is. LOL. I don't have wipes in any of the wipe cases yet either... I don't know how quickly they might dry out and I don't need them loaded and ready to go yet. I doubt that's gonna take a whole lot of time to do when I need it done. We got her a clothes hamper and didn't have to put it together, so it is in place (sort of) in her room. I have some stuff I need to take out of her room because there's still the rocker to go in there when Pops gets it here for me. But all in all, its ready for Lillie, she just needs to go ahead and decide to come out already!

So we had this and that for dinner. Neither of us really felt like much, so we just snacked on what sounded good. I text Mom to check on Dad, he'd gone to the doctor Thursday too, upper respiratory infection, he got a shot and some medicine and was feeling much better already. He called the house to see what we were up to and we chatted for just a minute. Tancy and I watched some TV, I got her some Tylenol and her regular medicine... before long we were in bed. I was exhausted and needed to be in bed, even if I didn't sleep right away. I felt like the best thing for her was rest too. I found the chloraseptic for her since her throat was so sore, got her some water for the night and we settled in. Watched a bit more TV and were both asleep by 10:00.

I was up so many times in the night... I think 4 or 5. Crazy. And every time I got up my belly hurt so badly. She must be moving again or something... or maybe all that was just from the activities of the day. I am not sure. I slept well, but the moments awake in the night were fairly uncomfortable.

I got up around 7:15 I guess, took care of the puppies and made coffee. It's just after 8:00 now and Tancy just got up and got her a cup of coffee. My doctors appointment today is at 11:40. I would imagine that we should get a "check" today to see if things are progressing at all. With all the discomforts I have been having I would like to hear that we are... but you just never know. Tancy is beside herself when she thinks about Lillie coming, she can hardly stand the wait. I tell ya, 36 weeks (because we found out at 4 weeks) is a long wait... and honestly... I don't know what part of it is the longest. At this point, I would have to say the last 2 weeks, but I might have said the beginning in the beginning. I think being this close to her arrival and waiting for it has got to be the most intense feeling though. Excitement abounds... but you still don't know when she's coming or how much longer you have to wait... We have a little more than a week till my due date, but everyone knows that date is rarely THE date. So even counting down the days till then is futile.

Well kids, I need to balance the check book, get a shower (and all that good stuff) in order to get ready for the doctors appointment and then I imagine we will be heading out before long. We need dog food and I think we'll do that first so that after the appointment we can come home and Tancy can rest some more. She said it still hurts to swallow this morning and she's about middle of the road, no worse and a little better than she did last night. So we need to stay that course. I hope that everyone has a great day today. It's currently raining here, but hopefully will clear off by noon... a little sunshine would be fantastic!

Ok, I'll try to post an update from the doctor when we get back for everyone. Try being the operative word.

Love to all!

Good morning all. It's 5:38 and I am having my coffee. It's good, but I am debating on crawling back into bed at this moment... and lately coffee just isn't enough to keep me up if I am tired. It's Wednesday, hump day for most of you. Yay! The work week is at the half way mark. For us, the weekend starts at 6:00 PM today. Unfortunately, nights start Monday. But that's what we both signed up for, so I can't complain about it.

Yesterday started with the usual routine, coffee and puppies. I worked here around the house quite a bit. I didn't do anything that really could be considered work, just odds and ends. After blogging I started & finished all my Thank You cards, thankfully! They are a necessary thing and I wouldn't dream of not doing them, but outside of telling people we love how much we appreciate them, I don't enjoy the process one bit. I also put some things in the mail to Maw-Maw. I try hard to keep in better touch with her, by phone, by mail.... but I'll be honest, I suck at it. I think of her every day, miss her every day. I don't know why I don't call or even drop a letter to her... I wish I had a reason why I am so bad about that, but I don't. I'll just have to keep trying.

Once I got those things done I got dressed and worked in the kitchen cleaning it back up and getting my big iron pot cleaned as well. I got the pot cleaned, rubbed it down with oil and put it in the oven on a low heat to get a little bit of that cure back in it. This was around 10:00 I guess. I picked up things that were scattered here and there and put them where they belonged. I wiped down the counter tops and the table.

Then I decided to go outside. It looked so pretty and the grass was so high... sounded like the perfect thing to still be productive AND get me out of the house. So I brought the dogs inside, gave them a bone to chew on, made myself a bottle of water and headed out to get to work. I cut the back yard first, moved the truck and came around to the front. I got the front yard done pretty quickly, including most of our "hill". I am more careful now than I was before I was pregnant when mowing the hill. I am certain that my ample figure is going to cause the mower to roll down the hill (this isn't founded in reality, but it makes me take extra care which isn't a bad thing). So there were parts of the hill that didn't get done like I would have liked. But the yard was done in no time. It was warm out, but the sun felt so good on my skin I didn't notice too much.

After I got all the grass cut and the drive way "blown off" (accomplished by a couple of trips up and down the drive way with the mower on "blowing" the grass in the direction it would normally shoot out cut grass.... it gets the job done!) I pulled the mower up to the fence. I wanted to rinse it off but it had to cool first. I moved the truck back around to its spot, but first I loaded all the boxes from the shower that were on the landing into the back... A very easy task since I backed the truck right up to the railing. All I had to do was tip them over the railing and Voila! There they were, in the back of the truck! After I got that done and the truck moved I swept out the carport. Everything looked really nice. I headed back inside.

When I got inside I realized how hot I was. I was dusty and felt a bit itchy and really wanted a cool shower but decided that I should try to cool down a bit first. I talked to Mom on the phone for a bit while I was cooling down. I think we've both been missing each other alot since she left here on Sunday. I considered a nap, but by the time we got off the phone I didn't have time to do that and get dinner done. So I got a shower and got dressed and sat with my feet up for a while before it was time to cook.

I boiled eggs, gonna make egg salad and potatoe salad. Then I boiled my potatoes. I took some chicken out to thaw, gonna make Bar-B-Que chicken in the oven. I mashed up the eggs in my hand crank food processor... I normally do then by hand because I like them really fine, but a dozen was a bit much when my hand is always numb. I got the potatoe salad made and in the fridge, then the egg salad. I talked to Mom on the phone again while I was doing this. Before long it was time to put the chicken in the oven and by the time it was done it wasn't very long before Tancy called to say she was on her way home.

I literally had dinner on the table when she walked in the door. We ate, it was yummy! Just what I wanted too. After dinner we vegged ont he couch for a while and then headed to the back. She got a bath, I milled around a bit and we both got in bed. She sewed my gown for me, one of the seams that I had sewn to take it up had popped. I refilled our medicine for the week. Once we settled in it didn't take long for either of us to go to sleep. I think we were both sleeping by 9:00!

I must have had plenty of water yesterday because I was up quite a bit last night with a full bladder. In between potty runs I dreamt (all night really) about Lillie coming. Like moments up to leaving for the hospital. Being at the hospital.... pretty much everything except her actually being here. I am getting so excited about meeting her. I am ready for her to decide to come on. I'm not "over it" or "miserable", I just want to see my little girl and hold her in my arms. I want to know what she really looks like, if she has hair, if she'll smile at me and know my voice. As excited as I have ever been about anything in this world, nothing compares to the excitement I feel about meeting my Lillie.

This morning I've done nothing outside of the same routine I do any other day. I have been instructed to take it easy today. I have been so tired the last two days, by late afternoon or early evening I am ready for bed. I don't have anything on my "list" to get done today (gasp..... can that be possible?!) so I will just have to see how the day goes. I am sure I can find something to get into. Maybe I'll make my list of baby things we need to get this weekend. I could probably also make a grocery list. Great! That will thrill Tancy, lists!! Haha. As long as I don't make a "Honey Do" list for her she probably wont care how many lists I make... or one for me to bust my butt on either, just for clarification. I would say after my last big list she is over it, tired of knowing I am working myself silly while she's at work.

It's hard to sit still though, physically I feel better if I keep moving. Once I stop I tend to feel kinda sore and achy. I can't explain it... but for the most part, to park it on the couch isn't usually my best option, certainly not for long periods of time. So, once again, we'll just have to see how the day goes.

Well, my brain is already turning. Jeanette asked for some pictures yesterday and I'd better get started on that... I also have more pictures to put on xanga (if I am not over my capacity). No telling what all I'll find to do!!! I hope you all have a great day today. I think its suppose to be another pretty day here.

Love to all!

Good morning all. I hope this finds everyone doing well. It's not Monday!! That's a positive, right?

Yesterday was a fairly productive day. I am happy with the progress I made. And I didn't over do it! Can you believe that?! I blogged forever it seemed, just to get everyone caught up on all the goings on of the weekend... though I am sure I left out details, there was just soo much ground to cover. After that I got dressed and got to moving.

Wow! Lillie must be getting lower because when I am sitting down my belly might feel a bit sore low, but to stand up... my belly is so sore its hard to stand completely upright for a few seconds. It feels like suddenly I've got about a hundred pounds of pressure in those muscles (that weren't very toned to begin with) and they just might give out on me. Additionally, yesterday, my leg was still giving me some trouble from that charlie horse I had (Sunday morning early). So I would limp around for a while till the soreness eased in one spot and then the other. Sitting was not my friend yesterday, I can tell you that!

So I got dressed and began to gather dirty clothes first. I got the first load of clothes going and then headed to the back to put away the spare bedding we used for Jeanette and Luca on the air mattress. That didn't take too long, just a matter of getting the step stool back out and getting up in the top of the closet to put the blankets away. I bumped my head on the frame of the closet door. Ugh!

I talked to Gary on the phone for a quick minute. He was planting some ferns for a client. He's always into something! I wanted to make sure he didn't want the center piece blocks from the shower back. They are really nice and look like a fair amount of effort was put into their creation. We chatted for a minute, but we were both busy so we wrapped it up pretty quickly. I got back to work.

I was kind of scattered to be honest. You know how you get when you feel overwhelmed by a task or tasks and you go from room to room moving things but never really accomplishing anything? That was me. I sent Mandy a text message about the blocks, she'll know someone who is having a baby shower before its all over with... I hate to throw them away. Then I called Missy. We talked for 2 hours!! I milled around the house for part of it and sat down on the couch for part... I found myself getting out of breath while trying to talk and work. It was a great conversation, I really enjoy talking to Missy. We had alot of catching up to do, obviously. I don't think there's much ground we didn't cover! And honestly we probably could have talked for longer, but we both had things to do... she was going to see the kids for a bit (they come home from their Dad's tonight) and I needed to get back to work if I was ever going to get it all done. I had made wise use of my time while sitting and went ahead and had lunch. No excuses now, get to it!!

I grabbed some 2 gallon ziploc bags from the pantry and a permanent marker from the coffee table and headed to the back. I first went through the clothes that I had folded the night before that were in the pack 'n play. I put them in order by size and kept each size separate. Next I went into Lillie's room and did the same thing with the clothes that were already in there. I kept the newborn size clothes in a canvas tote and the 0 - 3 month clothes in a drawer. Everything else got pulled out size by size. I grabbed an extra bedding bag to put the clothes in once I got it all organized (by bedding bag I mean like a comforter comes in, plastic with the zip top). I ended up with 2 - 2 gallon ziploc bags of 3 - 6 month clothes, 1 - 2 gallon ziploc bag of 6 - 9 month, 1 - 2 gallon ziploc bag of 12M and a few pieces of 12 - 18 month and 2T. The kid has 6 pairs (I think) of shoes already. She's got a ball, bat and glove (from her Poppy of course). She's got numerous stuffed animals, toys, rattles and teethers. She's got a ton of socks! She's got quite a few blankets that are really nice. My two favorites at this point are the one that her Nana Sue made her and the one that her Aunt Casie found that says "It's good to be me". I finally got everything that doesn't belong in there out of there. I have given everything a home and everything is in its home at this point. After

While I was working on that I also kept the laundry going. So when I got finished in the room I had almost all of the laundry done. Just needed to be folded. I went to work on posting pics to xanga from the shower and the weekend. I had been working on it off and on through out the day. I typed my letter to Lillie to have a copy on the computer. I need to get my paper and put that in her book. I don't know what else I might have done yesterday. Seems like I am leaving something out, but I have no idea what.

Tancy got home and had left over pizza for dinner. I made macaroni and cheese with some left over linguini noodles in the fridge. It was pretty good but I didn't really want anything to eat. We sat in the living room for a bit and at 7:30 I talked her into heading to the back. I was really tired and ready for bed. I got my bath and then she helped me to stretch my leg so the soreness from the charlie horse would ease up. We watched some softball or should I say she watched it. I tried to find a comfortable position and closed my eyes... I was ready for sleep. She wasn't far behind me. I'd say it was between 8:30 - 8:45 and we were both asleep. I think I only got up once in the night, 11:30, for a potty run and a hand full of antacids... my heart burn was excruciating. The fact that I didn't get up again means I clearly didn't have enough water yesterday. But I did sleep pretty good. My hip woke me up once, my hand woke me up another time. When the clock went off and it was time to get up I really didn't want to... I wanted to lay in bed and sleep the day away.

I didn't lay there to sleep the day away. I got up and headed in the kitchen to make coffee (I forgot to set the damn pot last night). The usual routine. I am so tired though... it seems to be more taxing than it has to be. We visit for a minute and then its time for her to go to work. Which sucks. I miss her already this morning. I'll deal, I have things to keep me busy for certain.

So today I hope to get my kitchen cleaned back up. Dishes are the main thing at this point, I just need to load the dishwasher and take out the trash. Then I can wipe down the counters, the table and the sink and its done. From there the only two things left to be done are to write Thank You cards, which I am dreading because my hand has been so screwed up lately. It hurts me alot, so I am not sure how I will get through them all.... but I absolutely have to, everyone was so generous! The next thing is to take our "return" items and try to figure out where they came from. I am not sure if I will get to that one today. Tomorrow morning bright and early will probably be better all the way around. I think I'm going to have to go in without the items, check out the baby section, look for what I've got and then come back in with what I know they have there. That's all I know to do.

My leg is still a bit sore today but not as bad as it was yesterday thankfully. My belly was sore first thing this morning... but the true test is when I get up to go to the back and get dressed, that's usually when I feel like I am going to fall to my knees.

I kept all the cards and such from both showers, so when I have time, I want to add them to the baby book. Everyone, at both showers, was so wonderful and loving that I really want to hold on to those cards. Obviously if it's just a name in the card that might not go... but surprisingly, alot of people wrote a note in their cards. I also have Aunt Jan's original drawing of the "One horned butt fish" that I want to add to the book and a few other things... so I suppose I need to figure out what I need for paper, etc. to make that happen as well. That book will be full before she gets here!

Alright kids. I could go on and on about things I want to get done... but writing about it doesn't get it done that's for sure. I'm thankful for a 4 day weekend with Tancy, but then she's back to night shift... that's really going to suck. But that's days away, so I'll focus on what we have right in front of us!

Sending you all love and positive energy. I don't know anyone who would turn that down! I hope you all have a great day today and enjoy whatever it is you have on your agenda for the day. And once again, thank you all for all the love, support and gifts for Lillie. She's already a spoiled little girl and she's not even decided to show up yet!!

Love to all!