November 9, 2009

  • Never ending list of things to do

    When I was a kid it never seemed like my Dad (specifically) stopped. I am sure my Mom was equally busy... so I am not sure why it stands out that Dad never stopped. But there was always something to be done, tires rotated, oil changed, grass cut, trash out, house washed down, and on and on. And even until very recently it seemed like he always had a list of things to get done... I don't know that I ever really understood why.

    Thursday Tancy and I were sitting on the couch, taking a minute before heading off to Mandy's. I had cleaned out the car, swept out the carport and what felt like a million other things. She had been busy doing things as well, though that list escapes me right now. We started talking about all there was to still be done and how we've neglected some things and we really need to correct that. Suddenly a light came on, I am my father. There's always a list of things to be done. Believe it or not, I don't even list everything that I would really like to do. I'd love to pressure wash the house, carport and driveway. But we don't have a pressure washer, so it isn't on the list. I want to repaint the door and the shutters (a different color), but that's just not going to happen right now, so it's not on the list. I would like nothing more than to really go through things and get rid of what we haven't used in a year, but it's all I can do to get the laundry done some days... so that's not on the list. The deck needs restained, but moneys tight and its already too cold. I'd like to repaint our bedroom. It would be great to actually put some pictures up on the walls, of Lillie, family and us... I think that might be at the top of my list of things I'd really like to get done but just can't find the time. I want Lillie to see photos of our family each day since we don't live near them. That just made me sad... that we don't have pictures of our family up.

    The fact of the matter is, once you get to a certain place in life, there is truly always something that needs to be done. So I am going to start putting certain things on the calendar in hopes of taking better care of some of the things that we have let fall by the way side. There are the things that have to happen on a regular basis just for life to keep running smoothly, dishes, laundry, cooking, etc. Then there are the things that need to happen routinely to keep things up, gutters cleaned, cars washed, oil changed, air filters replaced, etc. I'm still working out a system to manage it all.

    I have a deep and profound respect for my parents and all their hard work when we were kids. Things were always maintained and taken care of, as I recall it... Mom and/or Dad might remember differently. We were taught to take care of the things we had no matter what it was or how much it cost, that way it would last. I have always understood the value of things, always wanted to "save" things that were special and preserve things for as long as I could. But I've gotten away from washing my car regularly and cleaning the inside. There's just so much on the list... things get lost sometimes.

    Then there's the struggle of taking care of things and just being able to live life. My arguement is if things are done, taken care of, then I can kick back, relax and enjoy things. But the fact of the matter is, it is never all done. So I have to find a balance between taking care of things and relaxing some. But how does one do that. So far it seems I can't relax if a certain level of up keep isn't done. And if I let things go too far, quite the opposite happens, I become uptight and even depressed... most definitely overwhelmed. But with a little one, I want to learn to just take her in and enjoy time with her and not miss out on playing in the leaves because I was obsessed with scrubbing the bathrooms.

    I have found its much easier to manage it all with help. Tancy is terrific and it seems we get more done together, which is kind of an obvious statement, but people take for granted how helpful (or not) their partners are in the regular every day things... as well as the extraordinary things. I know that together, not only will we manage to take care of what needs to be done, we will also manage to laugh, have fun and enjoy our time together (thats whether we are working on our "honey do" OR doing something just for fun... that's the beauty of being us).

    I don't expect this to make sense to anyone... its just a place for me to quiet some of the noise in my head.