November 9, 2009

  • Baby battles

    I have no idea if it's just me... I can only assume that someone, somewhere in the world has experienced similar issues with a new baby.

    I want our family and friends to be close to our daughter. More than anything. That is part of the joy of having a child. I want to continue to get out and see friends and do things, even when Tancy's working (days or nights). But sometimes it is so hard. She's fussy in the evenings and I don't always want to fight that fight. I do the best I can to battle the issues that I have, sometimes I win, sometimes I don't. I always give it my all either way. So I've decided to make a list of the things I "battle" now that I am a Mom, hoping that getting it out there will help me deal with it better. Maybe someone out there will read it and relate, maybe there will be words of encouragement. Maybe another soul wont read it, but it will have helped me to identify my own "stuff". Here we go:

    • I can only take her crying, when someone else has her, for so long before it becomes difficult for me not to take her and calm her down.
    • I don't like people in her face.
    • I don't like people putting their hands in her mouth.
    • I don't like when kids get in her face or touch her hands.
    • I prefer for people to give her a minute to warm up to them before they take her... the interaction seems to go much smoother that way.
    • I don't like it when people are loud when talking to her while she's taking a bottle or trying to settle in for a nap or bed... she's got the attention span of a gnat.
    • I don't like people hovering over me when I have her, because they want her, I will give her to you... just back off a bit.
    • I don't like being pressured to leave her with someone, anyone, when I am not ready. I have done it, I will do it, but not because anyone else decides it should be so (outside of myself and Tancy).
    • I am open to suggestions, ideas, tips and hints. But when it feels like I am being told that I am doing it wrong rubs me the wrong way... I know my child.
    • I let her cry when she lays down for a nap or bed. She's got to learn to soothe herself.
    • I don't like it when people continue to do things that startle her because they find it funny.
    • I don't like it when 10 people talk to/for her at once, again, the attention span of a gnat.
    • She doesn't need, or like, to be held all the time.
    • I prefer, when family and/or friends are together, that everyone be considerate that everyone wants to see/hold her.
    • She gets overstimulated.

    I recognize that these are MY issues and that everything I feel isn't reality, addittionally, I know that these things will not kill either of us and that, largely, I have to be the one to adjust.
    So, if you are family/friends reading this... please know this is solely for my benefit. Not because I am hoping people will read and take note. I am simply being honest about the things I struggle with. If I bring them out in the light, be honest about the instead of hiding, denying, or pretending I don't have struggles, maybe they'll get easier. That's my hope.