June 11, 2009
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Thursday, last night of nights!!
Good morning all. I hope this finds you all doing well on this Thursday. It’s foggy here and humid. I woke up when Tancy came home and was unable to go back to sleep… as much as I wanted to! So at 8:00 I finally got out of bed and made coffee.
Yesterday was an ok day. I felt really terribly nauseous most of the day. I ate, and actually ate quite a bit with Tancy before she left for work. When she left I went over to Mandy’s to visit with them, Tancy’s Mom and Zack came in for Lauren’s graduation. Mandy and I took a walk… I needed some physical activity and just to be out of the house… outside in general. It was a short walk… the rain was coming in and we just got back to the house before the bottom fell out. I had a tomato sandwich with them and we all visited a bit. Around 8:30 or so I left to come home. I got home at about 9:45 and was just hoping to avoid a migraine, I’d had a cluster headache trying to start all evening.
I got out my stationary (I can’t believe I even still have any) and wrote Maw-Maw a letter. I have been sending her my blog posts, but wanted to send her something personal and hand written before Lillie is born. So I did that and by about 10:30 or so was trying to go to sleep. I don’t think I had to try too hard… I woke up at 12:15 to Hemmi barking his damn fool head off at who knows what! Scared the shit out of me and if I’d had my bearings about me at the time I just might have flogged him. He finally settled down and I was so twisted I was shaking! I got up and made a potty run and eventually settled back down and to sleep. I think I was up about every hour, but I slept so hard. Tancy got in at about 6:45 and I heard her in the living room crinkling something. I got up to see why she hadn’t come to bed yet… she was eating chips and dip. She did come to bed, but by then I was awake. I laid in bed a while with her, tried to go back to sleep, but it was all in vein.
I got up, started the coffee and fed the pups. I talked to Mom for a minute. Then I called Maw-Maw. I had called her yesterday, but she was having coffee with the men who were bailing hay in the fields on either side of her house. So I talked to her for a bit and then let her get back to her coffee this morning with Aunt Judy.
Now I am just waiting on time to get a shower and get ready to go to the doctor. I am not all that excited one way or the other to go. I always love hearing her heart beat and I am excited about possibly getting another ultrasound and seeing her again… but ultimately why get excited about being sent home, not ready for baby? I am not physically miserable. I am lucky that way. I know alot of women, at this point in the pregnancy (just days from my due date) are truly miserable and so much so its very difficult for them. I don’t feel this way. I have discomforts, but from a physical perspective, I feel pretty good. My patience has just worn thin and I am done, tired of waiting. Which just means that the wait is inevitable. LOL. I forget what that “law” is called, where what you absolutely don’t want is exactly what you get… but I know that’s whats happening with me. I want the wait to be over so badly that I will most definitely have to wait till the 18th. I can laugh about it at least. So the doctors appointment today isn’t as exciting as appointments previously, for me. I’d love nothing more than to have the exam and her tell me that we are making progress and she’s on her way… in labor and just don’t know it or something ridiculous like that. But I am fairly certain that isn’t going to happen.
So, tonight is Tancy’s last night and I am thrilled! Tomorrow will be a full day. Tancy has physical therapy and then a doctors appointment for some blood work. Then we will go over to Mandy’s to spend some time with the family. So it will be much better than these last days of sitting in a quiet house by myself waiting for Tancy to get up so I can cook before she leaves to go to work and then sitting in a quiet house by myself waiting on sleep to come. I wont have to look for ways to occupy myself and that alone should help the days pass as well as take my mind of off the wait. I am truly my father’s child… I can only wait so long before it starts to be an uncomfortable thing. In some ways I am surprised that it took me 39 weeks to get here. And boy when it did, it jumped on me all at once!
My belly is sore today, like I did a ton of sit ups in my sleep last night. I am fairly certain this is NOT the case! LOL. Its another day waking up and initially thinking that my period is going to start… then shaking the cob webs loose in my head and realizing that I am pregnant and that isn’t going to happen… that feeling is something else. I am really glad, however, to be sleeping so well at this point. Sure, its interrupted all night by my bladder, but it is sound when I am asleep… and the interruptions are only going to be longer waking periods here shortly, so I wont complain about that.
My coping mechanism at this point is setting small mile markers to look forward to. The first was today, the doctors appointment and it’s Zack’s birthday. The next is tomorrow, Tancy is officially off of nights… we have appointments and plans (celebrating Tylor and Zack’s birthday), so the day is full. Saturday is Lauren’s graduation, so that will be another full day. Sunday I am sure will be more family time. Monday my Mom will be here and that is Tylor’s birthday (he really wants Lillie to be born on his birthday… isn’t that sweet?!). Tuesday is my due date, I think we’ll have a doctors appointment then and Ms. Sue’s birthday, she also would love Lillie to be born on her birthday. Wednesday is Marlie’s 1st birthday, I can’t believe it!! And Thursday they will evict Lillie if she is still on (actually in) the premises. So I can count down one day at a time, filling each day as much as possible to occupy myself.
Tonight is my only obstacle… the last night of nights. I need to do some laundry and some dishes… I have contemplated staying home tonight and getting those things done. But Mandy and Ms. Sue have asked me to come over there and spend some time… so I am just not sure what I will do. I will see what my mood is like after the doctors appointment. We will basically make a beeline home and I’ll make dinner for Tancy, she’ll eat and then she’ll have to leave. So there really wont be alot of time to think about much of anything this afternoon.
I don’t have much else…. Just killing time at this point, so you all know how ridiculous my posts can get at that point. With that said, I am going to sign off. I hope you all have a great day and a wonderful weekend. I don’t know how much I will blog after today… I am hoping to really fill my time between now and Lillie’s arrival, whenever that is.
Love to all!
