January 14, 2009

  • My recent struggle

    Good morning all. I hope this finds everyone doing well. It's Wednesday, so half way!!

    Yesterday seemed like a long day. I got all of my laundry done except some sheets and floor rugs. I'll get that done today. I cooked dinner last night, a really easy chicken casserole and a cheater chocolate ice box pie. Mandy and Lauren came over and had dinner with us and played on the Wii.

    I think I have neglected to give you all a heads up about the Wii. They are super fun and good exercise. However, if you do the assesment, be forewarned, if you are overwieght, your Mii goes from being normal size to swelled up. He or she will even look down at their huge midsection like "what the hell just happened to me?!". It is a humbling and yet hilarious moment. Not to mention, they stay that way! At least until you slim your ass down!! Haha. Funny and very sobering all at the same time. I am a chicken and very self concious, so I did it when I was home alone.... if I weren't pregnant AND had done it with anyone else in the room, it might not have been so funny for me. Just a little heads up (they should really tell you that your Mii is going to expand to match your girth!).

    Anyway, we had a good time. I started feeling some uncomfortable pains up in my ribs and felt my battery beginning to drain way too early. We had planned a date night... Well, I got emotional over nothing (guess I've hit th pregnant lady crazies) and that was the end of any romance that might have taken place otherwise. Poor Tancy, I feel so bad sometimes because no matter the cause of my emotional outbreak, she always catches the brunt of it. I know it makes her feel like an asshole, even when she didn't do anything. I don't intend it to be that way, but its one of those times where you show your worst to the one you know will still love you when it is all said and done. I mean, who else would let me squall about the wax being too hot when I got my eye brows waxed and not make me feel like a lunatic (cause I know that's how I am behaving, I just can't seem to control it at that point). She just holds me and tells me its alright, apologizes if she feels some responsibility and assures me it isn't that serious. She's wonderful and I am crazy. Go figure! LOL.

    Lately my struggle has been feeling alone. During the day I want to be able to call someone and go for a walk or get a bite of lunch or just hang out. But everyone has their own lives... And lets not forget jobs. So I don't know what to do. I need to find a way to distinguish those feelings, but I am just not sure how. I need to connect with other people during the day sometimes. Sometimes, I enjoy my days to myself. I never know which way I might feel till daylight (or grey) hits. If everyone I know has something going on... and I obviously can't be on the phone all day... what do I do when I am feeling like I need that human connection? I call my Mom in the mornings, that kicks my day off positively every time. But after that, I might not talk to another living soul till Tancy gets home.

    Now, please don't misunderstand me. I am not complaining about my life. I have it really good and I don't forget that. I have a wonderful woman who loves me enough to put up with my good and bad days. We are expecting our first child. I am already able to be at home and will continue to do so after our child is born (and legally need to not work for medical and tax purposes, but thats a whole other blog). We don't do without much of anything, even though money gets alot tighter than I am comfortable with. We have great families and wonderful friends. I am simply looking for suggestions to help me with my dilemna. Any suggestions?

    Alright kids. Today is check book balancing day! FUN!! Can you read the excitement in my words?!

    I hope that you all have fantastic days. I am going to get my chit done and maybe go for a walk or something. I am thinking today is one of those "get out of the house" days. We'll see how I feel after bills are paid. LOL.

    Love to all!

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